"Daddy, can I watch Mad Men?"

"No."

"Why, is it rated R?"

"Yes."

"What, are there people killing people in it and stuff, with knives and guns and weapons of all sorts?"

"No."

"So nobody dies?"

"Occasionally, people die, but it tends to happen offscreen."

"So why is it rated R?"

"Because people are having sex all the time."

"So, I can watch it and just leave the room when it's sexy time."

"Did you just say sexy time?"

"Yes."

"OK."

"What else is on the show?"

"Mostly people sitting around drinking."

"What, like beer and whiskey and stuff?"

"Yes."

"So? I've seen people drinking alcohol before. They do it on The Simpsons all the time."

"This is different."

"Why?"

"Because."

"And what else is on the show?"

"People at work."

"That sounds boring."

"It can be, but the sexy scenes are good."

"Well, what about Watchmen? Can I see that?"

"No. It's one of the most violent movies ever."

"Why? It's just about men who watch other men."

"True enough."

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