New Friend On Tap
Elijah came back from Zoo Camp on Monday very excited.
"Daddy, I have a new friend!" he said.
"That's great," I said. "What's his name?"
"I don't remember."
"How can you have a friend and not know what his name is?"
"I think it starts with a C that makes an S sound."
"OK."
"And he's going into third grade, so he's taller than I am."
"That's fine."
"And he's finished Lego Star Wars, Lego Indiana Jones, and Lego Batman. All the levels, And he knows all the secrets."
"Wow," I said. "He sounds fascinating."
"Don't be a meanie, meanie," said Elijah.
"Sorry. What else can you tell me about your new friend?"
"At lunch, he likes to eat by the garbage can so he doesn't have to walk across the room to throw something away."
"I guess that makes sense."
"And, you know what else?"
"Do tell."
"He drinks water...from the sink!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he doesn't drink from bottles," and then, as if he simply couldn't believe this, Elijah exclaimed, "Doesn't drink from bottles, daddy! Ever!"
"So?"
"So he drinks water from the sink! I drank my water bottle in the first hour, and I was thirsty all day, but my friend kept drinking water from the sink!"
"Elijah, you can fill up your water bottle at the sink."
He has a reusable bottle, of course. Who do you people think we are?
"You can?" he asked.
"Yes, if you're thirsty, drink water, don't be dumb."
"Oh," he said. "I didn't know that."
The fact that Elijah finds drinking water from the sink such a compelling feat is somewhat embarrassing to me. But come on! He's growing up maybe a little bit yuppie, but it's hard to imagine that he's never seen anyone drink water from the sink before. This is probably a sign that I need to make a crapload more money. This child, like Dudley Moore in Arthur, is going to have a hard time functioning without a butler. Maybe tomorrow he'll witness his new friend peeling an orange.
Comments
I hate to be all preachy, but bottled water sucks. It's awesome he made a new friend to broaden all these new horizons though.
Posted by: Dirk | July 29, 2009 12:50 PM
It was reusable. Forgot that detail. Now added.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | July 29, 2009 12:59 PM
I asked my 3 and a half year old to throw something out the other day and he was like: "Where's the garbage can?" All I could think was: Seriously? Have you lived here for three and a half years and you don't know where the garbage is? I've seen you use it! So I said: It's in the hall, off the kitchen. And he said: "Where's the hall?"...
Posted by: Dara | July 29, 2009 1:22 PM
Sometimes it doesn't go away. My SIL, an M.D., had serious problems when she and my brother moved and she couldn't figure out how to turn on their new refrigerator.
Posted by: JTC | July 29, 2009 1:49 PM
Dirk, while you are correct I should clarify that we use large reverse-osmosis filtered 5 gallon jugs of water that never get discarded. Why? Because I don't want to drink fluoride. E gets a refillable sigg bottle. I'm sure everyone has their own opinions about this, but I just can't justify drinking fluoride, a chemical that has no benefit unless applied topically. It should not be ingested. So that is why we don't drink tap water. We could get a fancy filter that took it out, but that's too $ upfront for us right now.
Posted by: Reg | August 1, 2009 11:31 AM