Club Sutra
When I started practicing yoga seven years ago at the Lance Armstrong 24-Hour Fitness in Northeast Austin, I had stick arms, a donut belly, and a really bad attitude. I definitely didn't think I'd end up teaching yoga myself. Even when I started writing Yoga Dork, a year-and-a-half ago, I didn't think I'd end up teaching. Yet two weeks from the night I'm writing this, I'm going to teach my first yoga class. And I'm doing it on purpose.
In Nashville last week, a buddy who I hadn't seen for a while asked me, "so why, exactly, are you doing this?"
Without thinking for a second, I said, "it's a calling."
"Damn, man," he said. "That sounds religious."
"Yeah," I said. "I guess it does. Well, yoga isn't exactly tied to any one religion, but..."
I then proceeded to bore the shit out of him for five minutes.
Sure, I was a little drunk, and more than a little stoned, when I said that yoga was my calling. But even now, though I am, again, a little drunk and more than a little stoned, I still stand by the word. Nothing has done more good for my life than yoga. I'm humbled by everything my body can do now, and even more humbled by everything it can't. I see the world more clearly than ever before. Admittedly, that's not very clear at all, but occasionally, surprisingly, there's a open spot in the fog.
What am I talking about? Hell, I don't even know most of the time. That's the main reason I want to start teaching. Maybe my students, if I end up having any, will be able to tell me. Meanwhile, I'm going to work under the auspices of my most honored teacher, Mara Hesed, to come up with an intelligent and physically challenging practice.
We'll do poses, and a little breath control, maybe sit quietly for a few minutes, and then I'll talk for a while, with no authority at all, about the history and philosophy of yoga. The rest of the time, hopefully to everyone's satisfaction, I'll ramble through pop-cultural digressions and make fart jokes. And, at the end, we'll do some inversions and have a nice savasana. If we chant a little in Sanskrit as well, please don't be afraid. It's just like Hebrew School, only more pretentious and half-naked.
Does that sound good to you? It does to me. I asked Elijah if I should be nervous about teaching my first class. "Maybe a little," he said, "but no more than that." Wise advice from a booger-eater, but still, I've been telling my yoga colleagues about how nervous I am.
"Fake it 'till you make it," said one of them.
I think I will. And I hope that those of you in L.A. proximity will come and fake it with me. Necessary information about my first yoga classes is below; attend one, or even both. See you on the mat. Afterward we'll go across the street for ice cream.
Namaste,
NP
Hom Yoga Presents
Neal Pollack's Club Sutra
Tuesday, July 28 and
Tuesday, August 4
7-9 PM.
@Against The Stream Buddhist Meditation Society
4300 Melrose Avenue (between Vermont and the 101)
Los Angeles
$10 suggested donation.
Comments
I SO wish I lived in LA and could come. This sounds awesome!!
BTW I just finished reading Alternadad. I absolutely fell in love with your book and your family. It doesn't seem like all of it was easy to write about (some of it so private) but you did and I so appreciated it. I read some of your passages aloud to my husband while we were traveling this past weekend, made the ride just fly by. I will be looking for more of your work!
Posted by: spleeness | July 14, 2009 10:30 PM
Good luck with your class! I am amazed by yoga teachers and their talent.
I agree with you entirely about the amazingness of yoga but don't have a similar experience. Mostly my body can't do much at all. So I don't get to feel all that much awe. I wonder if I will eventually do something amazing. In advanced yoga classes, there are many poses I cannot do--handstand, scorpion, lotus, etc., etc. I've been doing yoga for three years and the only major difference is (a) even rigorous classes are easy to keep up with even though (COMMENCE HORROR NOW) I started smoking again and (b) my hamstrings and hips are much more limber. Nothing else.
Obviously, I have lots of muscles I didn't have before.
I really do yoga to not be insane. During certain periods--when I had this amazing teacher who later moved away--I was only 12% insane. Just regular yoga of any kind makes me about 25% insane. Normally, I'm about 80%, so that's pretty good. Interesting thing about yoga, for me, and sanity is: Yoga wears off. It's very unspiritual of me, but for me, yoga is like a pill I take. Literally, exactly like a pill.
I'd love to read more about your thoughts on yoga, by the way. I would not be bored hearing about your take on the spiritual, physical or whatever else.
Posted by: ozma | July 15, 2009 12:26 AM
This made perfect sense to me, no need to feed the least bit sheepish about it. There's something amazing about stoner yoga -- focus, concentration, awareness of every muscle, it's just the best. I've spent the past year and a half either pregnant or breastfeeding, and what I miss more than anything by far is my old routine of daily long, stoned power yoga sessions. Good luck in class.
Posted by: ny pearl | July 15, 2009 6:48 PM
I work right down the street from there, cool! I am a yoga newbie but really want to do it. I can't make the July 28th one but I'd love to do the August 4th one: do I need to register or ??
Posted by: EAF521 | July 16, 2009 4:03 PM
Nope, just come on by!
Posted by: Neal Pollack | July 16, 2009 4:21 PM
Becoming a Yoga teacher is probably the best way to learn Yoga
Posted by: mat | July 18, 2009 5:50 PM
I was a "group fitness instructor" for about a year -- as part of a job and to get in shape before I got pregnant. I was SUPER nervous almost every time and as soon as class got started, it was totally wonderful and in the moment and everyone really had a good time. People really like people who are helping them do good for themselves. Have fun!
Posted by: Maegan | July 27, 2009 8:48 AM
You're gonna be great. Your self-deprecating way and your good humor will be appreciated by your students. I've always been terribly nervous before I taught (public speaking - bleh!) but once It gets going it's the most satisfying experience. Good luck, sweetie!
Posted by: Reg | July 27, 2009 9:07 AM
so when is the naked yoga session?
Posted by: jeff | July 31, 2009 12:46 PM