A Comedy Classic
Big fun over at the Parents.com blog, as I deliver another jaw-dropping Elijah story in the classic Alternadad* style. The two below today's post are also quite fun. You can skip the following one about the "group lunch." It's kind of boring and will be rewritten if I have the time.
Meanwhile, some of you have written in asking my opinion about the Tim Donaghy scandal, which proves once and for all that the Suns were robbed--robbed, I tell you--of the NBA title that was rightfully theirs this season. And now that they've undertaken an offseason strategy of giving competent role players away to other teams for nothing in return, I doubt that the Suns will really have another shot. But that's OK. Amare Stoudemire is majoring in human cloning at Arizona State, and he'll have a full-grown clone of himself, genetically engineered to remain on the bench during controversial moments, ready to go by December.
Let me at that Donaghy! Let me at 'im! David Stern is behind the betting ring. I just know it! Cubs fans, you think your team is cursed? You may have a rival in the desert.
*A division of Alternadad International, the world's leading producer of "alternative" parenting humor since 2006.
Comments
I love that post! My son is already five & still having problems with exhibitionism & boundaries & stuff. Thank you for giving me hope!
Posted by: Pixie | July 29, 2007 10:37 PM
neal you are a complete idiot. the suns WILL win the NBA title this year and you can take that to the bank!!!!
Posted by: Colin | July 30, 2007 5:11 PM
good one colin
Posted by: Anonymous | July 30, 2007 5:19 PM
Damn, I hope you're right, man. I really do.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | July 30, 2007 7:58 PM
Need more music Neal? The seminal alt-kids album, "Goobers" has been posted over at WFMU's Beware of the Blog, and it's a doozy, containing among others, Penn Jillette's version of "Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts" and Tiny Tim doing "The Chicken Dance". Link is here:
http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/07/goobers-mp3s.html
Posted by: Funklord | July 31, 2007 7:14 AM
I read your blog, came back to it later only to find the funniest shit had been edited out. =(
A Modesty Proposal was funnier when you know that Elija was taking cues from the dogs...
Too bad Parents.com thinks we can't handle it.
Posted by: Joel | August 4, 2007 8:58 AM
awesome. my computer is retarded.
Posted by: Joel | August 4, 2007 9:02 AM
It's more my wife who couldn't handle it...That material will return in some form or another.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | August 4, 2007 5:47 PM
it isn't as harsh as it's rewritten, joel. it comes across better for the kid. it was a decent edit. the question is how far is too far when it's a kid in the middle of public writings about intimate family issues. i'm sure no one would kick much if neal wanted to make money writing about his wife's recent surgery in a comical manner. but would she give him permission? would he do it anyway if she didn't? it's a harder issue when it's a kid, who probably isn't asked whether he cares if certain particularly private stories are told to the world at large.
Posted by: franklin | August 6, 2007 3:27 PM