Oh, What A Lonely Boy!
Someone else has our booster seat. We left it at school on Thursday, Elijah told his sitter to pick up the wrong one, and now we have a booster seat that is the same model as our other one, but five degrees further down the line in terms of child-imposed skankitude. Elijah, for one, does not appreciate being driven around while sitting on another kid's crusted drool and jam stains. To make matters a bit worse, Elijah's seat is now being sat in by the child of one of the teachers at the school, so my usual strategy of nagging the other parent until the other parent is sick of me isn't going to work here. I'm not saying that the teacher is deliberately hoarding our booster seat. She probably has other stuff to worry about. Regina is shy, and Elijah is constantly hysterical. Getting our booster seat back is going to be my unique burden, and challenge.
As the sun went down last night, even without the right booster seat, we celebrated a half-assed version of Shabbat. The table got cleared off, Regina roasted a chicken, we lit a couple of blue candles, and we made Elijah turn off the show about griffins that he was watching on History International. I tried to argue with him and Regina that griffins never existed and can't, therefore, be considered appropriate subject matter for a channel devoted to history. But they both looked at me as though I were crazy, so I let it go.
And then the conversation began:
Elijah: "Can I have a playdate with Sean this weekend?"
Neal: "I think Sean is busy."
"Then can I have a playdate with JoJo?"
"JoJo is busy too."
"Can I have a playdate with anyone?"
"I sent out some emails. I'm trying. But I think the odds are small."
Scheduling a playdate is impossible here. Most kids have six standing playdates a week, and then at least two classes or lessons. And these are the four-year-olds. Elijah takes a gymnastics thingy one afternoon a week after school, and on Fridays he sometimes plays Tee Ball with his friends at the park. But for the most part, we never have anything to do. He's one of the most underscheduled kids in Los Angeles. That said, while we were moving, Sean's mom had Elijah over for the entire afternoon, which was spent dancing, watching The Adventures Of Shark Boy And Lava Girll, and eating cherries and peanut-butter bread. So there's hope in these hills. But on Friday, we were lonesome.
"That means I'll just have to play with you this weekend!" Elijah moaned.
"We can walk to the library," I said. "And then later I'll let you beat me up with your Socker Boppers. Doesn't that sound fun?"
"Yes," he sniffled.
"And then on Sunday," said Regina. "Your cousin Ali can come over and see your new bedroom. You guys will have a great time."
"Yay!" said the boy. Then, his face got thoughtful, and he said, "When we lived in Austin, we owned a house and we could walk to other people's houses whenever we wanted to, because no one was busy."
"Well," I said. "Here we rent a house, and everyone is busy but us."
"But isn't it glamorous?" Regina said.
Comments
Now you know why there's not too many single child families in rural areas. If you want your kid to play with someone and there's no one around..just have more kids. Then you'll even get a built-in babysitter down the line.
Posted by: HeyJunior | June 3, 2007 8:49 AM
Hmm...your post was on the sad side this time, at least in part. And part of the sadness was that we as parents feel the need/pressure to schedule every single minute of our children's time, thus ensuring, as your post so vividly points out, that the minority is now those children w/out "things to do". What happened to childhood? What happened to kids making their own fun? What happened to spending all day just running around? When did we become a society that says the only way your child can be happy is to wake up at 7, start piano at 7:30, do T-ball at 9, karate after lunch, ballet from 2-3, etc etc etc!!!????!!??? Why are we so obsessed with making our children into little adults?
Sorry to rant about this, but it really is a pet peeve of mine and something that I feel powerless to avoid as my children get older. Is it because we are scared? We can't just let our kids play outside all day? Is it because we don't trust our neighbors? Is it because the news of abductions is on every night?
It's late--I'm rambling--good luck with everything.
Posted by: JeffN | June 3, 2007 7:59 PM
Jeez, Neal. Sad. I live up the 101 from you, but am poor, and therefore my kid is under-scheduled as well. I'd offer to come down for a play date, but I doubt that Elijah would find an 18-month-old (and a girl, no less) terribly amusing to play with. Most of our playdates are of the accidental variety, as in, "Your 18-month-old wants to play with this slide? Sweet! So does mine!"
I know you just moved, but I hear that the Manhattan beach area is a bit more kid friendly as far as this goes, though I'm afraid that over-scheduling kids seems somewhat pervasive. I think it happens because we are mostly afraid to leave our kids alone anymore, and it makes our lives a bit easier if there's a calendar to follow.
Posted by: yanalita | June 4, 2007 11:56 AM