The Right Soap
Last night, I put laundry detergent in the dishwasher. I didn't mean to, it just happened. Regina was in Elijah's room, reading to him from some 1970s Jacques Cousteau book about sea predators that we'd found in a dusty box during our move last week. I thought I'd show my commitment to our domestic situation by doing the dishes.
Our new house is full of Hollywood glamour. For instance, our stackable washer and dryer are in the kitchen, less than two feet from the sink. This is how all the muckety-mucks do it in L.A. But since we haven't fully unpacked yet, there's stuff all over the kitchen counters. I pulled a plastic jug off the counter, opened it, and poured some of the contents into the dishwasher.
The liquid was white and goopy. Also, it smelled forest-fresh. I looked at the label, which informed me that it was Seventh Generation laundry detergent.
"REGINA!" I shouted.
"What?" I heard from the other room.
"I just put laundry detergent in the dishwasher."
"You're an idiot!"
"What should I do?"
"Clean it up with a paper towel."
"But it's environmentally friendly!"
"Idiot."
"Yes, dear," I said.
So I sopped up the white goo with half a roll, and then replaced it with an equal amount of green goo.
After Elijah went to bed, Regina informed me that The Right Stuff, one of my very favorite movies, was on HBO Family. As always when watching The Right Stuff, I wept during key scenes, but especially the one where the Mercury Seven astronauts confidently walk toward the camera, wearing their spacesuits for the first time.
When I was a kid, this scene made me cry because of all the possibilities it portended for my adulthood. Now it makes me cry for different reasons. It was no accident that I found myself identifying with Gus Grissom, who fucked up his only solo astronaut mission, as an adult. I have a reasonably fulfilling life, and I'm happy most of the time. But I screw the pooch at least once a day. There won't be a ticker-tape parade.
Comments
But odds are that unlike Gus Grissom, you won't meet a fiery death on a launch pad. In your face, Grissom!
Posted by: Ian | May 31, 2007 12:23 PM
I think doing something like this is the appropriate way to christen a new place. In the first week my boyfriend and I moved into our apartment in San Francisco, he put dish liquid (for washing dishes by hand) into the dishwasher. One would think that since this is close to dish washing detergent, it wouldn't be a big deal, but boy howdy, one would be wrong. In about ten minutes, huge knee-high mountains of bubbles poured out below the machine. I thought it was rather comedic kind of Buster Keaton affair, even though he was sheepish since he'd never used a dishwasher before, and it was the first drama we'd had in the new place. We realized only afterward that the "dishwashing liquid" had a very small warning on the reverse side that said "do not put in dishwasher." Hopefully others can learn from our soapy experiences!
Posted by: Shannon | May 31, 2007 2:01 PM
I should probably get around to watching that movie. I enjoyed the book, but I thought that Wolfe dropped the ball by cutting out the controversial 'facehugger' scene.
Here's a tip on the mix-up front- always check the chocolate syrup that you use in milkshakes for ants. Don't subsitute the ant-free variety for the ant-present kind.
I really can't stress this enough.
Posted by: Simon | May 31, 2007 7:13 PM
Gee, who raised you? People who put diaper cream on their toothbrush?
Posted by: Anonymous | May 31, 2007 10:50 PM
We all do idiot things now and then. Just wait until the day you lock your keys and your kid in the car.
And you do realize that Gus did nothing wrong don't you? The hatch really did just blow.
Posted by: W | June 1, 2007 7:42 AM
I made the same mistake (laundry soap in the dishwasher) on our first day in our very first apartment. And I RAN the dishwasher. Bubbles everywhere.
Enjoy the new place!
I don't think I've seen The Right Stuff, but we just got From the Earth to the Moon box set, and I'm dying to show it to our sons.
Posted by: Amy Davis | June 1, 2007 12:12 PM
I did the same thing once too, putting dishwasher soap in the washing machine because I keep all my extra cleaning supplies in the laundry room.
The big question of the day...how is Regina taking the news that Battlestar Galatica ends after season 4? I am devastated! No more Roslin, Starbuck, Sharon, or Six!!! Tragic! Tell Regina to check out the Scifi.com forum on BSG! Everyone is in mourning!
Posted by: Heather | June 1, 2007 9:24 PM
I love mix-up comedy. I once patted the wrong woman on the behind in a department store. Luckily, she was totally cool about it.
Posted by: Josh | June 2, 2007 10:23 AM