Reverse Food Chain
Not every conversation in our house is about the Phoenix Suns. Only every other one. The rest of the time, we talk about animals. Sometimes Elijah, who's informed us that he wants to be a zoologist when he grows up, asks Regina and I unanswerable questions, like "Who would win in a fight, a jackal or a hyena?" or "What's the most powerful snake that lives in Egypt?" Other times, he informs us of important animal kingdom half-truths, like "walruses and polar bears try to eat each other all the time."
The other night at dinner, Elijah started the conversation, as usual.
"You know what would be funny?"
"What, son?"
"If predators and prey reversed themselves."
"That would be funny," Regina said.
"Hippos would probably be the most powerful animal," I said. "Because they have big teeth."
I half-realized it at the time, but fully realize it now. We wanted to push this conversation along, because we thought it was fun. Either Elijah has turned us into enthusiastic zoology humorists, or our brains have melted out our ears. Regardless, we spend much of our mental time in a strange imaginary world where animals rule and people don't really matter at all.
"The giraffes would run really fast and eat the lions," Elijah said.
"The manatees would go totally nuts and start eating alligators," Regina added.
"That would be hilarious," Elijah said.
"Also," I said, "there would be some pretty powerful rhinos."
Elijah said, "The plants would start eating the fish."
"Crazy," I said. "What would start eating humans?"
"Monkeys," said Elijah. "And everything else."
"Don't forget the elephants," said Regina.
"Yeah," said Elijah. "The elephants would eat a lot!"
Those possibilities exhausted, we moved on to other topics:
"Do you think the Suns are going to win tonight?" I asked.
"Maybe," Elijah said. "Hey, daddy?"
"Yes, son?"
"Why are some whales actually dolphins?"
Comments
Long time reader, first time caller. I just had a son (literally, on Tuesday) and am looking forward to having conversations like this with him. My 2-year old daughter seems destined to only be interested in discussing shoes and accessories.
I just finished reading Alternadad (literally, 15 minutes ago) and since we have some common experiences, I'd like to ask you a question. I've been in Austin for 8 years and have been trying to find an excuse to leave for a while. There's good and bad here as you know. For me, the bad is that I work for a corporate giant and live so far north I barely have an Austin address. The good - White Stripes at ACL, Shady Grove, Rudy's BBQ, and light traffic. So my question is this... do you miss Austin now that you've been in LA for a while?
Posted by: Mike | May 18, 2007 3:33 PM
I'm pretty sure what is going to happen tonight is that a gorilla is going to eat a coyote...
Loved your exchange with Paul Shirley. That is one cool cat.
Posted by: Garry | May 18, 2007 4:32 PM
Wow, your son and my daughter should get together. They could ask each other these questions. We just had the whale/dolphin discussion a couple of weeks ago. Is this now some kind of rite of passage for pre-schoolers?
Posted by: David | May 18, 2007 6:20 PM
I think that it must be. I swear my son asked me the same question!
He's totally hooked on sharks right now.
Posted by: Ashley | May 18, 2007 9:56 PM
Some studies have found that children in their preschool years usually dream about animals. I think I read about that in the Tipping Point, in the Sesame Street chapter.
Anyway, many children's books and shows have animals as the main character because for some reason children that age are all obsessed with animals.
My son is obsessed with sharks and bugs.
Maybe evolutionarily it is to teach them what not to try to eat, or what could eat them. If they were still living in caves, you would need them to know that by age 4.
Posted by: Sadie | May 19, 2007 8:16 AM
Mike,
I know I really miss Austin, but LA has an awful lot to offer. I miss Austin's laid-back friendliness and the ease with which we could make plans with our friends even with kids. LA is not laid back. I guess it depends on where you're planning to move and what kind of city you prefer. LA is huge and overwhelming, but it's got SO much going on - it's incredibly stimulating.
Good luck!
Posted by: Regina | May 19, 2007 9:00 AM
Thanks Regina! Everytime I visit LA, SF, and NY, I feel like I'm home. However, when you have multiple kiddos and get used to living in the Austin cost-of-living range, its tough to leave. My current plan is to save up to move down to south Austin (at least as far south as I can afford) to see if that improves our outlook. I appreciate your input!
Posted by: Mike | May 19, 2007 1:48 PM