Urine Trouble. Now
Saturday afternoon, while waiting to go to the airport. I was in my office. I heard an exchange.
"Elijah, why is Shaq wet?" Regina asked.
"I don't know," Elijah replied.
"Did you pee on him?"
"NO!"
"Are you sure? You were in the bathroom a long time."
"I DID NOT PEE ON SHAQ!"
"Elijah, I just smelled him. He smells like pee."
"OK," he said. "I peed on him."
"NEAL!" Regina said. "Elijah peed on Shaq."
"Jesus fucking Christ," I said.
"Elijah," she said. "If you ever pee on either of the dogs again, you lose your TV privileges for a month."
"YEAH!" I shouted from the back. "And maybe for longer!"
The discipline must have worked. Elijah hasn't peed on the dog since.
Comments
Something about dogs & bathrooms...back when I was a preschool teacher I once noticed a boy kneeling down on the floor of a bathroom stall, when I went to check on what the heck he was doing he informed me that he was being a dog and then continued drinking from the toilet.
Posted by: Aaron | April 11, 2007 8:49 AM
You obviously have confused E. by playing Funkadelic's "Standing on the Verge of Getting It on" for him. But it's supposed to be the dog peeing on the tree, not the other way around.
Posted by: PhillyD | April 11, 2007 11:01 AM
Oh my. One time I sent a drunken friend home with another who had a spare room when I didn't, and she woke up in the middle of the night to find him peeing on her cat. Just...why?
Posted by: tlb | April 16, 2007 8:24 PM
When my cousin was five he was sent in to wake my then ten year old brother. He chose to do this by standing over said brother and peeing into his open mouth. Where upon said brother screamed and pushed my cousin off.
Posted by: Sarah | April 18, 2007 11:41 PM