Saving Ryan's Privates
We received the following letter last week in response to the excerpt in "The Week" of the infamous Chapter Seven, the one about Elijah's circumcision. This is an actual letter. I swear. Read it after the bump.
Dear Mr. Pollack:
I really enjoyed your article in "The Week." My family has been Christian forever and we boys have been 'altered' based on a better hygiene, the doctors told our fathers. I've made the thing work for the better part of 86 years.
I spent WWII on a destroyer and we had a young doctor as our medic. He was a real intern that needed something to do, so he would habit the crew's shower to see if he could finagle an operation--no charge. I remember washing up and helping with the procedure. It's true about the equipment the blacks are endowed with. The doc had an approach that met the problem halfway, taking half the foreskin, which left the sensitivity and advanced the hygenic aspects.
Dr. Strube was his name and he was a real southern redneck. It was a lot of fun because he took considerable ribbing for his considerable conservative views. Couldn't stand F.D.R.
The sad finish to his career was a direct hit by a Kamikaze on his battle station. Lucky for me, I was down below and out of the blast area. Your article was great and you have a great-looking boy. I had hair like that at his age.
Very sincerely,
Chet Locke
Comments
Mrs. Chet Locke needs to take away somebody's pen and paper.
Posted by: Mark | March 29, 2007 1:59 PM
http://www.lodinews.com/veterans/html/locke.html
Posted by: Barkin | March 29, 2007 2:17 PM
Chet Locke is my hero. I hope I'm as cogent and unintentionally hilarious at that age. Not to mention the part about still "making" it work."
Posted by: James in PDX | March 29, 2007 2:31 PM
Three words: hot cock sauce!
Posted by: PhillyD | March 29, 2007 3:01 PM
Neal, with all your hoopla about whether to circumcise or not, I find it weird that I haven't seen you remark on all the new reports that indicate circumcision should be part of any HIV prevention program.
Posted by: Marc | April 5, 2007 11:46 AM
Marc, with Neal on hiatus, you have some time to provide links out to "all of these new reports" you're referring to -- this sounds like an esoteric enough news item that perhaps our fearless host/analyst of the circumcision body politic might benefit from some context.
I'd also be curious to know if any research into the efficacy of circumcision as a means of reducing infections takes into account the alleged increased attractiveness of a cut wang (versus a turtleneck model), which may contribute to statistically significant increases in the level of sexual activity among the circumcised population and therefore, substantially boost their risk of exposure.
The cut/uncut wang research can't be performed in a vacuum, you know. If you think about it, surgically attaching about a half-dozen extra foreskins to a male's penis -- the medical opposite of circumcision -- would virtually eliminate the risk of HIV, if as a result, no one wanted to have sex with such a person. I say we do that. Problem solved!
Posted by: HotCockSauce | April 5, 2007 6:34 PM
HCS: I saw in the N.Y. Times that the N.Y. Dep't of Health and Mental Hygiene (!) is looking at offering free circumcision to adult men at high risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. They cite to some reports that suggest there are actual health benefits, not just Mental Hygiene benefits.
Posted by: PhillyD | April 6, 2007 11:08 AM
Also, check out what a little organization called the fucking World Health Organization has to say. You don't have to seek these esoteric "reports" out, you can read the front page of the NY Times.
Posted by: marc | April 6, 2007 12:00 PM
Marc,
I'll leave it to you to devote your life to reading about circumcised dongs. Thanks for standing on that wall for the rest of us, soldier.
Posted by: HotCockSauce | April 11, 2007 10:41 PM
The best comment on the whole debate:
http://toothpastefordinner.com/040607/simple-safe-medical-procedu.gif
Posted by: Blair | April 12, 2007 5:54 AM
Best letter ever.
Posted by: Kris | April 12, 2007 8:55 AM
Ok, I googled my grandfather, Chester Locke, who served on the Hazelwood destroyer during WWII (and was awarded the Navy Cross for his heroism). In my search for articles about my grandfather, I came across this letter. Can somebody please tell me what the heck he was reading that promted this letter? I'm trying to find a link to "The Mark" but am coming up short. Thanks!!! Oh, and I can't wait to read this to the family this Christmas! HA!
Posted by: Monica Brixey | September 26, 2007 8:44 PM