I wonder in what context you play Mastodon for an 8 year-old. Lucky kid. All I got to hear when I was 8 was talk radio.

The same context in which you play them anything else, like "Jungle Boogie" or "Folsom Prison Blues".

Check their lyrics, they're cleaner than some of the stuff that gets played on the radio on the chance you can actually tell what they're singing and the music is never boring.

We'll see what happens. He'll probably end up being a Toby Keith fan as a teenager. That'll show me.

Itunes has become a staple at our house. We've downloaded so many songs for our boys. Max is the music fan he likes anything with a beat. Morgan is more picky. He likes ACDC and Laurie Berkner.
The other day Max's face lit up when I put some James Brown on. I nearly cried with joy.

Well, I never thought I'd be in a position to defend Audioslave, but Chris Cornell sings his ass off, let's give him that. Lyrically, not so hot for the tots, okay. The end.

Just read your piece in The Week about circumcision. Something doesn't ring true - if you wanted to maintian the tradition, why didn't you use a Mole who would use an anesthetic? Granted that would be wine, but it works. Plus the family heritage / family bonding experience would have alleviated some of the anguish. PS: If the MD did not address your concerns about pain, then this is your fault since in your search for info you should have discovered that lidocaine is quite typically used in medical facilities. If the facility told you one thing and you accepted another then you should have gone to someone else.

kelly,

Because of our "lame" insurance we were limited as to which urologist we could go to. Neither our pediatrician nor our ObGyn would do the procedure. We could not get it done in the hospital. When we arrived for our appointment with the urologist, he told us as he was starting that they didn't use anything (after we were reassured on the phone by the receptionist that he did), saying "everyone knows that stuff doesn't work, anyway." (This was a respected urologist with many years of experience) He claimed that urologists weren't using that topical antiseptic any more, and how were we to know different? I mean, we had a hell of time just finding anyone to do the procedure. We didn't use a Mohel b/c we were not practicing jews, and it seemed disingenuous to find one just for this. Also, I was pissed off that I was being arm-twisted into doing the procedure at all, so I wanted a medical procedure. It was my immature way of not "giving in". In hindsight, it would have been much more soothing both to me and E to tie such a traumatic experience to a ritual with a Mohel. If I were to do it all again, I'd use the Mohel.

I just read your book Neal, it was quite good. I had bought it for my husband - who claims to never have time to read - so I read it first.

You talk about exposing Elijah to music in the book, and now here you are commenting on the music choices others might make. I think it is sad that anyone would think of not exposing their children to good music just because the subject matter is difficult or the artist may say a "bad" word in the song.

Every child is different, as is every parent. I think being open and answering my children honestly is really important. I also think exposing them to art is important.

This idea that we can only give our children edited and "clean" exposure to art always amazes me. We have a lot of religitables in our area (as I do live in the suburbs of Portland) who believe this way. They want their children, and for that matter mine, to believe that the rain comes from God crying (he does that a lot in Portland) and the naked human body is dirty. They even made sure my friend's daughter's class didn't get to see Rodin's "The Gates of Hell" as part of Art Lit., but rather they could see "The Gates". Where does it end?

A child will do what Elijah did when he heard "Play That Funky Music White Boy" and love the music while changing the words to mean something they can understand. And when they get old enough to ask you, "What is this song about?" as my five and eight year olds often do when we listen to the radio, you can lie, or change the station to "kid safe" stuff. Or you can take it as one of life's great opportunities to have a teaching moment about the real world, or sex, or love.

Children are seriously never ever too young to hear true serious answers from their parents. If you always give them only access to "clean" art, and you sanitize their brains with beautiful lies, they will still awaken one day to the real world. But when they do, they won't come to you looking for answers - they will have already learned that nothing you say is real.

Music is amazing! It is always about something if you listen to decent music. It doesn't matter if it has bad words. It doesn't even matter if the song is about something difficult to talk about.

I would rather have somewhat awkward conversations with my children every day than have them learn that I never respected them enough to trust their ability to make good choices by giving them the tools to see the world as it really is.

And Regina, don't let it bother you when people question your parenting choices. I read that chapter and could relate to the same difficult choice we had to make when our son was born. We decided to circumcise simply because my husband thought he would be embaressed in the locker room one day if we didn't - and who was I to argue I've never been in the boy's locker room. Our experience was much more pleasant, but that is just because our hospital and doctors were much more accomodating and pro circumcission in the first place. When I look at all the poor choices my parents made when I was growing up and realize that I survived it all, I think who is anyone else to judge my choices? These are my children, they have their own kids to screw up with...and believe me they will. Nobody is perfect.

Here Here

While we've prohibited the f-word we've always been more free with our language than most parents. I live in rural Illinois and we've got our share of holyrollers here.

My parents raised me talking like saliors and because of it I never felt the need to say them unless fixing the washing machine. My parents took the taboo out of "bad words" and I'll do the same for my children.

As for Kelly's remarks, sit and spin, Kelly! I'm sure that you've made decisions that you'd like to change and as humans we all have regrets. The decision to circumsise is made for many reasons and I think that Regina and Neal made the right choice. I'm just sorry that they had a shitty doctor and a backward thinking urologist.

You would expect that in rural Illinois. I was born in Minnesota, and we had a lot of that there - so many Lutherans! San Diego was not any better. But Portland, OR - I was shocked! That's what I get for moving to the suburbs.

My daughter brought home her weekly newsletter from school this week, and they are actually hosting a "Boys Day Out" at their school. She was horrified. It is evidently a day for sports, and fun, but only male students and their fathers, uncles or brothers have been invited to attend. You know, in this part of town they actually believe that a girl wouldn't enjoy shooting hoops with her daddy just as much as her brother would!

On another subject, if you live in Portland and you would rather not go to the Grease Ball this Sunday, you could go to the South Park Blocks at noon for a rally and march to protest the War.

I hear they will even have a "Kids Camp" if you don't want the kids to join in.

Sadie,
Wow, we don't even have that kind of thing here. We've got girls teams for every sport and coed events. I'm sorry to here that there is such a backward place in Portland.
My husband and I recently made the decision to move to Portland when we graduate in May and June. Our oldest is going to kindergarten next fall and I'm a little more than anxious about that.

Ashley, don't worry, you'll love Portland. It is an awsome place to raise kids. You can literally take them anywhere. The summers are filled with festivals and fun. In the fall we have about 8 million pumpkin patches to take the kids to (most of which have fun things like boat rides, trains, hay rides, farm animals, my son's favorite is the one with jaws and hay mazes.

We moved here from San Diego (without ever visiting first) and we couldn't be happier! This is the greatest place to be. As long as you don't mind a little rain, you'll always have a good time.

The Beaverton (where Nike is) and Lake Oswego Schools are very good. The Portland schools are very hit-or-miss. Hillsboro (where Intel is) is also hit-or-miss. You'll find that the people here are awsome - it's not normal to not know your neighbors.

And if a group is allowed to sponsor a sexist meeting at the school from time to time, I can think of worse crimes against humanity (but that doesn't mean we won't complain to the principal). We actually love our daughter's school and usually it is nothing but a great community.

Sadie,
Thanks, I'm really looking forward to it. We've got some friends who live in north Portland and we'll probably move somewhere close to them.

It's hard to find things to do with the kids. Someone suggested this dairy farm today and we'd have to drive almost 3 hours to get there.

while Cassidy was my womb-mate we went to many concerts and i felt her first movement at a BEck show. she has been digging all sorts of music from Dan Zanes to the fabulous Tom Waits and even Barenaked Ladies. The other day we were at the mall and Justin Timberlake's Sexyback was on...she started shakin' her 15 month old booty! i guess no matter what we expose them to, they'll dig what they dig. i love this bolg, thansk for sharing your words.