Not So Scholastic
Note to readers: If any of you have TV tie-in books that you want to rant about, please fill up the comments section with your bile...
Some Scholastic Book Club fliers appeared in Elijah's box at school the other day, and they brought back memories of childhood afternoons lolling by the pool, flipping through Choose Your Own Adventure books. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels Scholastic nostalgia.
Forwarding to the present, there are two separate leaflets, one for the "See Saw" Book Club and the other for the "Firefly" book club, though I can't really tell the difference between the two. Both of them contain some reasonably cool science stuff, like a build-your-own-skeleton kit and various literary interpretations of shark taxonomy. And there are a few cute-looking books, like All Aboard the Dinotrain! and Dooby Dooby Moo.
But for the most part, Scholastic appears to be teaching kids to read these days through product tie-ins.
This has bothered me about the contemporary world of kids' reading for a while. More than half of the books available to kids are nothing more than episodes of their favorite TV shows, in book form. Believe it or not, these books are poorly written, generically illustrated, and thorougly unimaginative. And they drown out actual literature.
For instance, Dora The Explorer: Dora's Sweet Adventure, is one of two featured books on page one of the "Firefly" club, while an E.B. White Boxed Treasury, featuring Charlotte's Web, Stuart Little, and The Trumpet Of The Swan, is buried on page three. The rest of the catalog isn't much better: Diego's (Easter) Egg Quest, Miss Spider's New Car, Spongebob Party Pants, a Scooby-Doo phonics boxed set, and, most retro-inexplicably, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Legend Of Yaotl. For $3.95, Disney offers four hardcover movie tie-in books, along with a Pooh backpack that bears the words "Disney's Wonderful World Of Reading."
Over in "See Saw," there's Barbie Fairytopia: Magic Of The Rainbow. The description of the book makes me glad I don't have a girl: "A brave fairy must use her powers to welcome spring--or Fairytopia will be on ice forever! Terrific Barbie tale." Yes, that does sound terrific, much like Cool Ranch Doritos are a "terrific" afterschool snack.
Based on the number of "Meet The Robinsons" tie-in books available, we're going to have to be dealing with that mindless distraction for a while. I'm just glad that there aren't any "Cars" books. You know that in some Barnes and Noble somewhere, some six-year-old is "learning" while reading "Lightning McQueen's Wild Ride."
I had my share of cheesy-ass Star Wars and Dr. Who books when I was a kid, but mostly I purchased those after I was 10 and I sort of knew better. When I was little, I read any number of lousy Little Golden Books with Eisenhower-era morals. But those books weren't trying to sell me anything than a point-of-view. I just think we owe our kids something more, reading-wise, than "Elmo Loves You" or "Hooray! You, Dora, and Boots Found The Chocolate Mountain Together!" They get enough of that crap on TV.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go read The Office: Where's Dwight's Desk?. After that, it's on to Curb Your Enthusiasm: Larry's Happy Ending! Also, Deadwood: Cocksucker's Return.
Comments
I tried to *gently* nudge my 9 yr old toward the "choose your own adventure" books, he wasn't buying. For me, those were a just a gateway drug to Dungeons and Dragons and full on membership in club nerd! :)
BUT he does dig on the tornados, hurricanes and other natural carnage. Makes a dad proud! :)
Posted by: terry | March 1, 2007 2:10 PM
Not only do books have commerically licensed connections, but now toys, clothing, furniture etc... It's hard to escape. But I am grateful for "Thomas the Tank Engine" underpants. Otherwise there would be absolutely NO interest in potty training. Toot-toot!
Posted by: Beth | March 1, 2007 3:16 PM
Are you fucking kidding me? We had Scholastic here in Australia too. I had no idea they were a global empire. I still have 'Ghostbreakers', which, for some reason, contains writing from the late nineteenth century. Why someon thought that would be appropriate for a ten year old, I don't know. But it was great.
Sorry to hear about the commercialisation of the book trade. Choose Your Own Adventures were a blazing signpost of morality. I'd be sorry to see them go.
Posted by: Simon | March 1, 2007 4:24 PM
Man, I read the shit out of Choose Your Own Adventure when I was a kid. I even had some favorite authors whose books in the enormous series I would seek out above all others. For all I know, they were all pseudonyms for the same burned-out ex-hippie being paid pennies per word, but at age 10, it was my Literature.
If I get early-onset arthritis, it will be because of the eagle-claw grip with which I used to hold the books as I would read -- each free finger on my left hand used as a bookmark for a specific nexus point in the narrative, for when I needed to retrace my steps after yet another innocuous "choice" resulted in my demise. So awesome.
Posted by: James in PDX | March 1, 2007 6:08 PM
Oh man, as a children's librarian, let me tell you how much crap is out there. The worst of the bunch is the Mary Kate and Ashley nonsense. They began in the Full House series, where each character had their own book. Yet, try and give a little girl a Stephanie or Michelle title. They will have none of it. The amazing thing is how much this stuff continues to resonate with 8-year olds, despite not really being marketed directly to them as much as they once were.
One of the worst things about tv tie-in books for a librarian is that they have multiple authors, which means that you have to look in about six separate places to find something for the patron that you think is lousy. It is much easier to get excited about finding Irving and Muktuk: Two Bad Bears.
Posted by: Mike | March 1, 2007 6:42 PM
I just finished Alternadad. It was good.
Posted by: wes | March 2, 2007 4:47 AM
In the late 1970s, when I was in elementary school, I had a book that was a Star Trek tie in. There was a truth ray that some aliens used on Spock because he knew how to complete some superweapon they were building. He answered their questions truthfully, and the weapon blew itself up. The moral: if you don't volunteer anything more than precisely limited answers to the question asked, you can tell the truth and still screw someone up. I can't believe I remember that. Or that my fav Choose Your Own Adventure book was the one where you couldn't find the desired ending by reading the story. You just had to locate it on some random page. Very postmodern.
Posted by: PhillyD | March 2, 2007 6:08 AM
I'm not sure they even get full credit for the EB White books as they're probably only in there as a tie-in with the recently released Charlotte's Web movie. Plus, you realize that the only reason these flyers are sent home with the kid at all is because for every book bought by the families, the school gets points which can be redeemed for all kind of stuff, from more books to office supplies.
Posted by: Aaron | March 2, 2007 8:33 AM
I miss Choose Your Own Adventure. And 2XL.
Posted by: troy | March 2, 2007 9:15 AM
Dood, Miss Spider ain't no tie-in. Miss Spider's New Car has an original copyright date of 1955. I happen to love the stories and illustrations; they're worth a relook.
Posted by: Sabra | March 2, 2007 9:33 AM
Anyone remember the Troll book club? Those were the days.
So did the Clifford books come before the TV show or vice versa?
Posted by: Jesus H. Christ | March 2, 2007 11:20 AM
Speaking of Choose Your Own Adventures...
http://newmedianashville.blogspot.com/2007/01/choose-your-own-ipod-adventure.html
Posted by: Dave Delaney: Two Boobs and a Baby | March 3, 2007 12:00 PM
Clifford books have been around a long time. Dear Mr. Bridwell.
Anywho about tie in books. I was perusing the shelves of Wal-Mart (stop it) and I found two versions of the same book or rather a compelation of The Chronicles of Narnia and I was befuddled and excited at the same time. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was one of my favorites as a kid. So back to the two versions, one was a movie tie in. It was $15.99 while the other one was not and was priced at $18.99. I was annoyed and told my husband that I would rather spend the extra 3 bucks and get the Lion covered one. Sadly my husband did not see it that way. I just saw myself being judged by the future guests I might have looking at my bookshelves. I'm going to have to read it and then hide it under the bed.
Posted by: Ashley | March 4, 2007 9:18 PM
I work at a (chain) bookstore, so I see the crap all the time, at the very least when Dakota Fanning's creepy face was plastered all over the Charlotte's Web books, parents bought them for their kids...
By the way, I just had to give a virtual "hell yeah" to a fellow Who fan... ;)
Posted by: Renee | March 6, 2007 1:10 PM
Wait until you see what they have done to the Weekly reader we used to read in elementary school.. its nothing like it used to be.. talk about changes...
Check out the link sometime..
http://www.weeklyreader.com/estore/c-37-5-learning-about-hivaids.aspx
Posted by: Lisa | March 6, 2007 10:30 PM
I agree that books tied to television shows do limit imagination. I will give you that. But I do think these books have some value.
My son is not a great reader yet. Our teachers recommend reading for the sake of reading. Re-reading the same book, so he does not have to spend as much time with the content of the book, just focus on mechanics. After you read a book with “a-b-o-u-t” a dozen times, it becomes engrained in your mind and you do not have to sound it out anymore. Just keep those synapses building with whatever you can. So if he reads a book that he has already seen the show he can focus on his reading.
In addition, he is much more motivated to read books he enjoys. If he is reading an Avator (T.V. tie in show) book, he will read for an hour. Most other books it is “are we done yet?” after 20 minutes. I think he would master reading much quicker reading a book with a T.V. tie-in book for an hour..
Then once he has mastered reading, he will enjoy reading challenging books a whole lot more.
But I could be wrong, this is my first time through the whole parenting thing..
Posted by: NormaDad From Suburbia | March 8, 2007 2:58 PM
fyi - there is a new choose your own adventure book coming out, and it's for grown ups! i just got the reader of it down at good ole bookpeople in austin, so be on the lookout this summer.....
Posted by: alison | March 8, 2007 8:03 PM
did anyone else have book fairs at school? it was my first self directed consumer activity. mom would give me twenty bucks and tell me to get whatever i wanted.
Posted by: Josh in Athens, Ga | March 27, 2007 9:10 AM
THANK YOU!!!!
I'm so glad someone else realizes what crap this stuff is! I am a first grade teacher and it just drives me nuts that this crap is all parents order for their kids. Keep on spreading the word!
Posted by: Haley | May 8, 2007 9:33 PM