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March 16, 2007

Alterna-birth

This seems like the kind of thing Michael Moore would pompously trumpet--look, someone went into labor at one of my speeches! Isn't that wonderful!--but I do love the story, so I'll reprint it here.

A reader writes:

"I finished Alternadad a couple of weeks ago. I saw the excerpt in Salon when my wife and I were trying to decide circumcision versus not. We both really enjoyed the chapter. I got the book the next time I was in BookPeople and kept waking her up to read sections that I enjoyed.

I didn't think that I'd be able to catch your reading in Austin, as we were due the day before your reading. As it turned out, our kid has the ambition of his father and was more than happy to just hang out for a few days. Days of walking and yoga could not entice him. However, it turns out, your voice could.

My wife was the very pregnant woman in the back on your left side of the audience. Her contractions started during the reading. Being the trooper that she is, she made it through the reading and we were at the hospital within an hour and a half after it ended. (Probably about the time you were getting high with the BookPeople staff or checking out music downtown.) Anyway, our son was born the next morning, penis fully intact."

One correction: I did not get high with BookPeople staff. I got high with friends. Anyway, congratulations!

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Comments

I wish I had known the magical, labor-inducing qualities of your voice four years ago. Both my boys had to be induced. After reading your book I know that you and your wife know how fun pitocin is.

Congratulations!

I wish Neal's voice had enticed Elijah out of the womb - instead he was 2 weeks late. It's in the book, but I have to recommend again to anyone who's late going into labor acupuncture! It really works. I only wish I'd done it the day after my due date. E just HAD to be a Scorpio with a Halloween b-day.

My youngest is a Boo Baby too. I was due the 23 and my doctor kept saying that I'd go anyday around the 5th. And so Max (named for Maxwell Smart) Burton (for Tim) was born on Halloween. His big brother met him dressed up as SpiderMan.

Just be glad that you all were late! I was 5 weeks early. I think I would have preferred to be a little late. A girl Scorpio scares me a little...

We are almost done with Alterna Dad. I'm sad.

You can delete my comments all you want, but you're still a jerk for saying that shelter dogs are unhealthy.
You yuppie.

but, freddie lots of people have called neal a jerk.

Yes, and you can call me a jerk and a yuppie all you want. Of course not all shelter dogs have health problems, and not all breeder dogs are healthy. What is this, anyway, Lady And The Tramp? Anyway, our second dog is a shelter dog. And he does have some minor health problems that the other one doesn't have. That doesn't mean we love him any less.

Chill out Freddie.

All dogs are awesome. The only "jerks" are the folks who carelessly breed pure breeds, creating unhealthy, weak doggies who will be plagued with health issues. Or people who mistreat or abandon their pooches. Neal has done neither, and certainly never meant to insult your dog. Lighten up. I

Geesh, never thought I'd be writing that.

Man.

Hoisted on my own petard.

Sorry. Really, I am. I just get defensive about my Miles.

Actually, you'd be hoisted by your own petard. A petard is a bomb, not a pike. Doesn't anyone read Shakespeare anymore?

Sheesh.

Sam was 1 day late. Ella was a scheduled C-Section, that was a weird experience for Heather. So strange to KNOW you're giving birth at 11:00AM.

You can hear the whole experience that day here. Of course this actually includes hearing the delivery of Ella too. :-)

Enjoy. Dave

About Halloween babies - I am a Halloween baby and was 1 month late - it was the 60's and they still let mom's go as long as it took. And you are right to be scared - we're very difficult children/people. Sorry!

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