We aren't nanny people. For one, nannies are super-expensive, at least for us. The going low-rate in L.A., $500 a month, would bust our budget wide open. Also, I've always found the nanny-parent relationship somewhat discomfiting. It can work just fine, of course, but too often I've heard rhetoric like "Consuela is a treasured member of our family" and smelled the bourgeois hypocrisy.

That said, we do hire babysitters. We've had plenty of luck on Craig's List. About once a month, we get a visit from an Occidental College student, who Elijah adores. She's really too busy to babysit--she has another job, a full class load, and is on the track team--but she keeps showing up regardless. She likes playing with Elijah. When we got Hungry Hungry Hippos, she was more excited than he was. She came to his birthday party and spent the entire time hurtling around the jumpy castle with her boyfriend. She sent us a holiday card thanking us for allowing her to "be a part of your wonderful family." But graduation looms, and we'll soon lose her.

We also sometimes get a visit from a grown woman who works a day job in PR, but always seems available to sit on Saturday nights. We know absolutely nothing else about her, but she shows up and does a super-efficient job. Elijah never complains about her, so we consider her a reliable backup. She definitely likes dogs, which is a plus.

Then, two afternoons a week, from 3:30 to 6:30, the most awesome babysitter on earth comes over. We found her on Craig's List. The fact that her email address contained the word "geek" should have been the first clue that we'd scored big-time. She's an education student, and her creativity knows no end. Under her watch, Chutes And Ladders gets played with rubber lizards, and backwards. Elijah's room turns into a giant hotel for his Playmobil animals and pirates, who apparently live in used egg cartons because it "helps their sleep." Play-Doh gets wrapped in tinfoil and labelled as a "dessert bar." On her first visit, she brought Elijah a book called "Punk Farm," about a bunch of farm animals who form a punk band, and her boyfriend took her to see Massive Attack for her birthday.

And sometimes, she takes Elijah to Big!Lots.

As I've reported many times, we don't live in the world's greatest neighborhood. So when our sitter asked "are there any parks around here that we can walk to?", our answer was, simply and truthfully, "no." We don't even have a yard, at least not one large enough for running around. The nearest green space is at least a ten-minute drive away, more if traffic is heavy.

Going for a walk in the neighborhood is always a tender proposition. Speeding dragsters are common, and stray dogs even more so. Regina never leaves the house for a walk without carrying a stick. And our nearby retail strip is mostly 99 Cent stores and taquerias, which are fine, of course, but not great for entertaining kids.

So they go to Big!Lots. Elijah usually comes home with some rubber lizards, or a rubber spider, or a rubber thing that sticks to the ceiling when thrown. And he raves about the glories of Big!Lots. Formerly known as Consolidated International And Wisconsin Toy, Big!Lots calls itself "the nation's leading buyer and seller of broadline closeout merchandise."

I've never actually been inside a store, and I told Elijah so.

"You have to come to Big!Lots, daddy," Elijah said. "It's the coolest place."

"Why?" I said.

"Because it has lizards and spiders and stuff."

My son thinks Big!Lots is the coolest place. That's a sure sign of a great babysitter. Who needs Ryan The Manny?

Posted by at 9:52 PM | Permalink