Elijah has been getting bored with storytime at school, and when Elijah gets bored with something, everyone knows. We're working on hemming in his disruptive tendencies, which include locking arms with his friends and chanting "We Are The Carrots! We Are The Carrots!" But meanwhile, Elijah was told he could bring in his own book, which teacher would then read aloud to the class.

Well, yesterday morning, Elijah tookthat book to school. Regina had the morning shift, so I didn't see what he chose. I probably wouldn't have stopped him even if I had seen.

When I got to school that afternoon, teacher said, "We tried reading Elijah's book. But I had to skip a lot of pages."

"What book was it?" I asked.

She pointed to the counter.

"Elijah," I said. "Why did you bring The Charles Addams Mother Goose?"

"Because I wanted to," he said.

We love this book at our house. It turns childhood nursery rhymes into a good-spirited satire about decapitation, cannibalism, and overall ghostly wretchedness. The spider eyes Miss Muffet with lascivious intent, and Tom Tom The Piper's Sun runs down the street carrying a pig skeleton, while chased by an angry mob. The Solomon Grundy tale, which the teacher decided to read to class, is particularly grim, depicting an ordinary man who leads an ordinary life, and then slowly rots away unloved.

Whoops.

Today, the school director said that it's fine to read a book like that to one kid, because you can make little private jokes and explain away the grimness. Elijah, in particular, likes to face the monsters in his mind, so it's not a problem. But large groups freak out easily.

"I swear I didn't know he was bringing that book," I said today.

"It was endorsed by Stephen King," she said.

I guess we won't be bringing Flanimals in for circle time after all.

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