I'm surprised at your restraint to Taylor's review.

Her last line ("No wonder the poor kid turned into a biter and got himself booted out of preschool.") is a low blow, an unfair cheap shot.

I just finished "Alternadad"--like, 2 minutes ago. Damn the naysayers--as a father of a 2.5 year old little girl, husband of a working artist, and a freelance writer myself, I hereby declare the book to be an unvarnished and altogether truthful account of pursuing a different form of fatherhood than is socially accepted and encouraged. Good for you...hell, good for us.

And it sure freaked ME out when your review of Ev's book appeared on the same page (in the dead-trees version of The Miami Herald) as my review of your book.
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/entertainment/books/16679653.htm

Literature 'tis one big circle jerk. As for my restraint at Taylor's review, well, it was mean, but I've heard a lot of crap since I started writing about my kid. I don't even notice it any more.

I'm trying really hard not to use curse words and references to female cleansing products. Come On! Besides having two kids I have a mom that's been teaching children (birth to 5) for 3 years and there are many reasons that a ckild becomes a biter.
First of all it is never anyone's fault if a child is a biter. One reason is as simple as teething (yes kids will relieve their teething pain using other kids) I think that most people don't understand biters. These are kids who really haven't developed the language and communicative skills to tell another child "no" or "don't do that".
There I've said my peace.

Also that douchebag wouldn't know a well told story if it bit her in her bitter ass.

that's supposed to be 30 not 3. I'm sure that most people would have caught that and online typos bug the piss out of me.

Thanks Ashley,

Obviously you understand the biting thing. I actually wrote a letter to the editor to protest her last cheap shot about biting. That's just ignorant and wrong. As usual, the real issues get flushed away so that a writer can take a pot shot at Neal instead.

What about the fact Elijah was expelled form daycare at age TWO for biting? What about the fact that the school offered us no help, and no advice other than, "you're outta here!" despite the fact that biting is a normal issue at that age? How about the fact that more preschool age kids are expelled than any other age group? What does this say about our early childhood education system?

Nope. Let's just take a cheap shot at Neal. Douchebag.

Just finished Alternadad, and felt like I had read my Autobiography - so many of the stories were not just similar to my life, but exact in the details, too. It was creepy at times, just reading it. Change the setting to Boston, and that was MY life for the past 10 years. So to say I could relate would be quite the understatement. Anyway, I enjoyed the book and will now get the others.

Neal,
I think it's such bullshit that a man touches on something a woman normally does, and because it's a little different, that man gets labeled with the "sexist" remark. I AM a woman, and I DO get tired of the whole womans lib thing. That's been around forever, and it's a great movememt, but it's out dated, in that, men's roles and opinions have changed; that needs to be taked into account. I believe we're just taking a step back in calling you a sexist for this. WE were once the target and now we're taking it out on people that are resuming the jobs we once were connected to and don't want to be. Hell someone's got to do it, and set a model example for it. If woman want to move from the sterotype "MOMMY" figure and be more recoginized as a respective professional (or whatever) whos going to take on those jobs they've left behind. Well...kind Daddys like you will. And, along with acceptance of Dad being the stay at home "Mommy" (if you will) comes the acceptance of how THEY like to do things. I think if someone's got a problem with any method you're using, they need to take a sensable approach to it and be smart on how they approach YOU; they have a problem, let them tell you the REAL problem and not pull a sterotype card to mask their real issue. These women need to recognize that you're helping them move further in the womans lib movement!!! More power to you Neal, we need more men out there like you!!!

Love

Neals Sweet Wife,
I haven't read any of Neal's book yet so I don't know what kind of role you play (stay at home with child, work and stay at home, work all the time, etc.). My point of the last post was to fire back at the "sexist" remark, b/c it just kills me to hear a woman say that about a man. That is like calling the kettle black to me. No offense towarsd you at all!!! I GERATLY respect you guys with a beautifuly different approach to child raising that will teach great diversity, culture, and art. Thank You!

Jennifer,

Your rant took the words outta my mouth. I'm a proud feminist -it fuels my art and life - but I'm embarrassed and appalled at the response many of these 30-something feminist writers (my peers!) are having to Neal's book. Many seem not to have read it and are ignorant of it's real content. And others have read it, but twist it into some strange, self serving feminist screed that simply sets dad against mom.

Neal is a feminist. He supports me in whatever I want to do, always. He admires strong smart women - many of his best friends are women.

I think the anger that is swelling over the fact that a daddy memoir is getting press is simply misplaced. This shouldn't be seen as a threat to mommy memoirs. nor does it somehow lessen their importance. As Jennifer says, the success of a popular daddy memoir that shows an example of a couple who genuinely share the child raising - that demonstrates the trend of a daddies more involved daily in their child's rearing - only HELPS women and furthers feminism. And I think that's a good thing.

I'm likely to be unpopular here but I'm ok with that. Isn't any type of deviation from the norm all about causing conflict? Anyway, be the parent of a child who is getting bit by some other kid and you will absolutely understand why Dracula was expelled.

Neal, I'm glad you and Neal's wife are able to dismiss the biting critics. That's ludicrous. I'm paranoid my guy might turn into a biter -- largely because there's a girl at his daycare who's bitten him. Just one of several other potential things to blame besides the parents.

I don't really understand book critics' eagerness to guess at your motivations, put a label on you, and then condemn your book because of the motivations and labels that they've imagined. I only started Alternadad yesterday, but I'm assuming all the stuff in there actually happened (except for Regina's Shakespearean rant about having kids). This stuff happened to you, you wrote about it ... has this genre really been exhausted, that it can be dismissed so soon? Maybe people are just growing tires of memoirs in general. I wouldn't have read yours had I not followed your career for a while.

I stumbled upon this link about Alternadad on my msn, and it led me to read all this. I love it. I can't wait to read your book!

Just finished Alternadad last night. I Loved it and identified with so much of it. I recommend it to any Dad younger than about 35.

I can't see how you are sexist for being annoyed by some of the Mommies at the park. They annoy me too and it has got nothing to with their gender. I never stayed home with my son all the time, but my Dad stayed home with me when I was a kid. I stayed home with my son (not quite 2 yet) 1 day a week for as long as my work would allow. Many Mom's who stay home in the day look really strangely at a male parent with the child. I felt very uncomfortable in many places I went with the boy. The mom's wouldn't look at me or talk to me except to give me dirty looks, it was f-ing weird. After the first couple times I stuck to places where other parents weren't. Anyway, that's all for these pointless comments.

And to further complete an already completed circle, I finally blogged about Alternadad here: http://blog.mamaramabook.com/. I swear I hadn't read all these posts first, nor have I read the LA Weekly review, yet I do address some of these issues. Cheers!