Imaginary superheroes came up again today, as they do every day.

"Sign Man is the most powerful hero in the world," Elijah said.

"Oh, come on, dude," I said. "Sign Man?"

"Uh-huh. He throws signs at people. And there's also Tree Man and Lamp Post Man."

"Now you're just taking every object you see and putting "man" after them."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Don't forget Truck Man."

"You're proving my point."

"He puts bad guys in the back of him and then he mails them to Hot Man, who cuts their heads off."

"That's better."

On Sunday, at a Super Bowl party, Elijah introduced a new character. We were wrestling in a carpeted bedroom. It was determined that, as usual, I would be the bad guy and he the good guy. He decided to be Remote Control Man, who he hadn't used in a while. Remote Control Man's power, as far as I can tell, is to "pause" people. Elijah pointed his finger at me and said,

"I pause you!"

"OK," I said. "Now I'm unpaused."

And the battle continued.

"Who am I?" I said.

"You're Hawkbutton," he said.

"Hawkbutton? Who the hell is that?"

"He's a bad guy who throws hawks and buttons at people."

"All right."

At that moment, Elijah saw a cat. He ran after it, shrieking. Hawkbutton has yet to be truly tested.

Posted by at 10:25 PM | Permalink