Last night, around 9:30 PM, we heard a wailing from Elijah's bedroom. He'd been in bed for more than an hour. We thought he was already asleep. But we should have known. He's never asleep.

"Momm-eeeee! Dad-eeeee! I want my Superman computer!"

In the living room, I said to Regina, "he wants his Superman computer."

"I guess so," she said.

The "Superman computer" is something, in the shape of the Superman "S" logo, that plays different number and letter games, while not-so-subtly promoting the Superman Returns movie. It has a keyboard and a circa-1986 digital screen. Elijah got it as a Chanukah present from my aunt and uncle. Once it appeared, there was no removing it from the rotation, as much as I've occasionally wished for its removal.

"It's almost 10 PM," I said. "He can't play video games now. He'll never go to sleep."

I went to Elijah's room to tell him this. He began to wail like a mother whose son has just been "disappeared" by the government.

"I weally weally need my Superman computer!" he said.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"No."

"I need my Superman computer," he said, "because I have to take over the world tomorrow!"

"Elijah," I said. "Do you have any idea what it means to take over the world?"

"No," he sniffled.

"It means that everyone's scared of you and that you're in charge of everyone."

He twinkled.

"That sounds fun," he said.

"It would probably be a lot of work," I said.

"So can I have my Superman computer?"

"No."

He began to wail anew. I offered to hug him, to assuage the grief. He accepted, but continued to moan for his Superman computer. Regina entered.

"What's going on?" she said.

"I want my Superman computer so I can take over the world tomorrow!" Elijah said.

"Elijah," she said. "Do you even know what that means?"

"It means everyone is scared of me and I'm the boss."

"He knows," she said.

"I told him," I said.

"Oh."

"I want to take over the world!" said Elijah.

"How can you resist that?" she said.

"I guess you're right," I said.

So he played with his Superman computer for half an hour. As of this writing, he hasn't yet taken over the world. But it's early yet.

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