All In The Phleghmy
The car was oddly quiet as we drove home from the gym tonight. Regina and I wondered why. Then we learned.
"Some people don't like it when I eat my boogers," Elijah said.
Silence.
"But I do."
Smack, slurp, smack.
"Because they're delicious."
"Ewwww," Regina said.
"Good lord," I said.
"Mmmmm," said Elijah.
Comments
Sounds like time to read him Shel Silverstein's poem about the Sharp-Toothed Snail. Have you read him the ABZ Book yet? Talk about alternative parenting . . . .
Posted by: Bagman | February 6, 2007 8:19 AM
Uh, I hit "submit" one time. Did you leave the Silver Surfer by your server?
Posted by: Bagman | February 6, 2007 8:39 AM
I'm with Regina.
Posted by: troy | February 6, 2007 10:07 AM
Ah, Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book. The best children's book of all time. The kind that gives 'em nightmares. Der Strewelpeter, eat your heart out.
And regarding this blog entry:
Yeee-uck.
Posted by: Mieke | February 6, 2007 6:29 PM
hahaha...oooh Elijah, what would I do without knowing you are out there, chomping on boogers.
Not laugh out loud, that's for sure
Posted by: Savage | February 7, 2007 5:34 PM
Yes, NP. If you could please be funnier in the future, I think we'd all appreciate it. Here's an example of how rip-snortingly hilariously one can write about a child:
God DAMN aint he feakin so cute. This is as close to a smile as I believe he can achieve right now. Other than eating, sleeping and pooping, with an occasional spit up or bought of hiccups, that's about all a newborn can do for the first month. I find it crazy that they can only focus on things that are within 8 to 12 inches from their face. Being new must be hard.
See? It's so easy! Maybe you need a refresher course.
Posted by: troy | February 8, 2007 1:25 PM
Troy, I believe Mr. Savage meant that without my writing about Elijah, he would NOT laugh out loud. Meaning he does find the booger bits amusing. You all play nice now, ya hear?
Posted by: Neal Pollack | February 8, 2007 1:32 PM
Oh really? Then how come I feel like such an idiot? Oh, wait, I know ...
So who was the guy who thinks you used to be funnier?
Posted by: troy | February 9, 2007 10:25 AM
thanks for the book, I just finished reading it and thought it was hilarious. we also love that our two year old loves interpol, bob marley and rock and roll!
i especially appreciated your honesty. sorry to have missed your show in portland, I didn't know you were coming until 7:30 pm day of.
look forward to the sequel.
Posted by: liz | February 9, 2007 1:35 PM