Intro To The Elijahverse
For new readers to this site, I'd like to present a primer to The Elijahverse, my son's vast and ever-expanding pantheon of superheroes that he made up himself. For long-time readers, stay around. Elijah is constantly adding backstory and new characters. How long until an "Infinite Crisis" erupts?
Bhotman. Pronounced "Hotman" (the B is silent). The central figure in the Elijahverse, and its greatest hero. Bhotman fights villains with his "hot power," which sometimes emanates from his index finger and other times from buttons that he pushes on his costume. He was born on the Sun and now lives on Venus, though he spends a lot of time on Earth because his parents, for some reason, manage an apartment building in Chicago. Bhotman can also often be found on Mars, where he owns and operates a zoo. Bhotman is unmarried, and has no children. Elijah claims that Bhotman usually shows up at our house around dinnertime. He seems to have an insatiable appetite for sweets.
Dr. Boney. Bhotman's archenemy and the Elijahverse's chief villain. Dr. Boney is an "old robot with blood on the outside and skin on the inside." Underneath his skin, he's made of wood, except for his hands, which are metal. Dr. Boney is very powerful, though, according to Elijah, he's not evil, "he just wants to hurt everybody for no reason." He spends almost all of his time flying around Los Angeles in a giant helicopter, which contains beds, a bathroom, and a kitchen, and has developed the ability to fly his helicopter while asleep. Dr. Boney has eighteen children, whose names change every day.
Mud Car Man. A very popular villain, Mud Car Man is a police car gone bad. He uses his "mud power," which emanates from a mud fountain on his roof, to hurt people. Mud Car Man is often accompanied by Mud Car Lady, who is just as villainous, only female.
Dr. Pulp. A secondary hero, Dr. Pulp fights bad guys by shooting paper at them.
Yellow Lantern. A good guy who burns people with a yellow iron, which he received from aliens. Elijah doesn't explain why this character isn't called "Yellow Iron."
Hill Man. A snow-capped hill that monitors all the world's crime through a network of supercomputers. He also fights bad guys, but moves very slowly.
Pillow. Bhotman's female dog, who shoots pillows at people.
Electricity. Bhotman's electric cat. Also female.
Goo Man. Bhotman's best friend, now deceased. He had "goo power," but was killed by a villain named Funny Bunny in a very long fight. His death led to the creation of Bhotman.
Slimy Man. A superhero who, obviously influenced by Ricky Gervais' Flanimals, does nothing and dies.







Comments
Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What happened to the Bushman?
By the way, bang-up job you're doing of teaching him the difference between good and evil (in RE: Yellow Lantern).
Posted by: troy | January 5, 2007 8:07 AM
Duh. I totally forgot the Bushman. Well, he hasn't been coming up much lately.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | January 5, 2007 8:41 AM
And what about the floor of dust? Or the fact that Goo Man, the first in the pantheon, derived from a trip to the tar pits?
Posted by: PhillyD | January 5, 2007 12:37 PM
You think maybe Elijah is the son of a writer, with a superhero named "Dr. Pulp"? And you forgot my favorite superhero name of all time, "Mr. Dang".
Posted by: Mieke | January 5, 2007 1:08 PM