Elijah came bounding into our room this morning.

"Mommy!" he said. "I want to see the sunrise!"

This would have been five-year-old Olsen Twins-level cute if it hadn't been 6 AM.

"Oh no, Elijah," Regina said.

"But it's so beautiful!"

She groaned awake.

"There'll be other sunrises," she said.

Apparently, Elijah continued his assault in the living room. The following is reportage.

"Come on, mommy. Sunrise!"

"Elijah, in this house, if you want to see the sun rise, you have to go outside."

"So let's go outside."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm naked under my bathrobe."

"Why are you naked under your bathrobe?"

"Because I am."

"Can you give me milk from your boobies?"

"No. And would you please stop asking me that?"

Elijah often sees my sister nurse her little baby. He wants in on the action. We constantly have to rebuff him.

The other day, he and I were sitting on the sofa, trying to make it through another hour of another day. I had my shirt off, because I rarely have my shirt on at home when we don't have company. Elijah plunged toward my left nipple, mouth wide open.

"Boooooobie," he said.

"Elijah, I don't have boobies."

"Yes you do. What are those?"

"Those are my nipples."

"And what are these things they're attached to?"

"They're called pectoral muscles."

"Do they have milk?"

"No."

"I'm gonna drink your milk...."

"Elijah, I don't have milk."

"You have man milk."

I was not going to discuss "man milk" with my four-year-old.

"This conversation ends now," I said.

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