And Now We Are Four
{Note: I'm fully aware that we're still having problems with the comments and the archives and the permalinks. Our crack team of technical experts is working on the situation, which should be resolved by the end of the week. }
Elijah turned four today. All week, I've been pensive, thinking about who I was (a drug-addled schmuck) when he was born, and who I am now (a slightly less drug-addled schmuck). Becoming a father has been the most fulfilling experience of my life. In fact, I credit Elijah with saving my life in a lot of ways, or at least for giving me something to write about that people want to actually read. But I'm not one of those bloggers who writes sappy letters to their children on important occasions. So now I present some dialogue, which says so much more about Elijah's essential awesomeness than overwrought prose ever could. I love you, son. Happy Birthday.
"Daddy, is Johnny Cash dead?"
"Yes, I'm afraid he is."
"What is that? What's dead?"
"It's when you're not around anymore."
"Does it mean you're in heaven?"
"Some people think it does. Other people think you're reborn as an animal or something. And other people, like me, think that you're probably just dead, which is why you should enjoy yourself as much as possible while you're here."
"What is heaven?"
"It's a place where some people think you go."
"Will I go to heaven?"
"All kids go to heaven."
"Will mommy?"
"Yes."
"Will you?"
"There might be some debate about that."
"Is Johnny Cash in heaven?"
"Yes."
"What about the lady who sings with Johnny Cash?"
"That's June, his wife. She's dead too. She died a few years ago, and Johnny Cash was so sad that he died a few months later so he could be with her."
"In heaven."
"Possibly."
"Where else do you go?"
"Some people think you go to hell."
"What's hell?"
"There's lots of lava and fire."
"I like lava and fire. I'm Hot Man!"
"You might get tired of lava and fire if you had to deal with them every day in hell."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"I miss Johnny Cash."
"Everyone does."
"OK, Daddy. Thank you for telling me about heaven."
"Daddy doesn't believe in heaven. But you're welcome, son."