Swim, You Magnificent Bastard!
Despite the chaotic atmosphere of Elijah's summer swim classes, which at times resembled the evacuation of Dunkirk led by Valley Girls in mirrored sunglasses, the boy still picked up a few skills. He had no problem noodling around under water for 20 seconds. He learned various floating positions, as well as how to monkey-crawl along the side of the pool, and he did something called his "doggie-kittie." This used to be known as doggie paddling, but I guess that's something else that's changed from my youth, along with little things such as the fact that Pluto is no longer a planet and that the brontosaurus is now called the apatosaurus.
But these pieces still didn't add up to swimming. I took it upon myself to close the gap. We had a pool at our disposal every day in Vancouver, so I gave Elijah instruction. I told him to do his "turtle float", his "Superman arms," and his "pancake float." This didn't help much. He'd launch himself off the steps, flail helplessly in a circle for a few seconds, and then grasp for my chest desperately, all the while grinning like an idiot underwater.
"You need to swim," I said.
"I am swimming," he said.
"Actually, you're drowning. It's creative drowning, but it's still drowning. And I don't want you to drown."
So here's what I told him: "Do your doggie-kitties. And kick while you're doing them. Swim in a straight line. And if you run out of breath, lift your head out of the water."
On our last day of vacation, he spread his arms, and glided beautifully off the top step, and then starting moving his arms in a perfect crawl, while kicking his legs. When he reached me, I said,
"Do you realize what you're doing?"
"What?"
"You're swimming!"
"I am?"
"Yes. How did you do that?"
"Because I did what you told me."
"You mean you were actually listening?"
"Uh-huh."
Since we got home, I've taken Elijah swimming twice, once on Labor Day to our neighborhood pool, and once to the aquatic center where he took his lessons. He now systematically swims several feet from the side of the pool into my arms, and then back to the steps when I release him. Other times, I whip him around in a circle, let him go, he moves himself around underwater to locate me, and then swims back to my arms. He still hasn't figured out how to lift his head out of the water to take a breath. But I trust that will evolve in time.
I've taught my son how to do something useful. It's really gratifying. Whenever I see him swim, I want to cry with pride. Still, I feel uncomfortable. Have I really done something right for once? It hardly seems possible.
Comments
Sigh, I guess dog paddling is just another lost bit of language, along with sitting "Indian style". Guess that wasn't PC enough. I also remember being told to line up "single-file-Indian-style" in my youth. Maybe that's why I'm such a racist bastard.
Posted by: Funklord | September 14, 2006 12:31 PM
I'm 22 years old and I'm learning to swim for the first time in a course at my college. I wish I had had someone in my life to teach me as a child, not only for the skill but for the memories. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job. Congratulations :)
Posted by: Kris | September 14, 2006 1:19 PM
I'm sure he'll be using his new powers of aquatic motion to detrunks the other preschoolers any day now. No good fatherly deed goes unpunished.
Posted by: Ryan K | September 14, 2006 2:39 PM
Christ, what's this about the brontosaurus? I'm still reeling from the day that Pluto died. To whom do I address my sternly worded letter?
Posted by: Mieke | September 14, 2006 2:41 PM
Good for Elijah! At age 28, I still don't know how to swim. I should be ashamed of myself. Now I regret for droppping my swimming classes before.
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