Doing It Kitty-Style
On Saturday, I took Elijah to the zoo, to which we have a yearly membership. This is fortunate. Otherwise, I'd get pretty annoyed at Elijah. He only wants to go to the zoo to eat popcorn. After that, he starts begging to go home.
"No," I said this weekend. "We're at the zoo, and we will see some animals."
Soon we arrived, after much slogging up and down hills, at the lion pit. A large crowd had gathered, and with good reason. The male lion was preparing to mount the female. Apparently, she didn't like the position, because she roared and snapped at him. Yet he persisted, following her around a tree, licking her butt the whole way. Finally, the female sprawled down, belly up, as if to say, "Take me, Aslan."
Then the lion king climbed aboard, thrust four or five times, roared orgasmically, and trotted off, looking satisfied.
"What are the lions doing?" Elijah asked.
"Making a baby."
"Is that how you and mommy made me?"
"It was a little less spontaneous than that. And it took even less time. But the basic mechanics were the same..."
On a previous visit to the zoo, Elijah and I witnessed the magnificent spectacle of a giraffe peeing in another giraffe's mouth. Now we'd seen lions fucking. What marvel awaits us during our next visit? A mountain goat getting a Dirty Sanchez? A crocodilian Cleveland Steamer? A tamarin gang bang? What will I tell him then?