Semi-Rough
Once a day, and sometimes several times a day, Elijah announces to me that he wants to "play rough." This is how playing rough goes in our house: He and I get on my bed, we smack each other for pillows for a while, he leaps on my back, and I flip him over my shoulders. Then I grab him by his ankles, turn him upside down, and swing him around. Sometimes our moves are a little different, but that's the essence of the battles. Meanwhile, he keeps up a constant patter that sounds something like this:
"I am Hot Man! And you are Dr. Boney! And then I turn into Batman and Remote Control Man and I freeze you with my invisible power! You will fall on the Floor Of Dust and the mosquitoes will come and bite you. You can never defeat me!"
The result of playing rough is that Elijah has no fear of heights or of getting spun around. More than once, he and I have spent a good number of minutes watching roller-coaster clips on YouTube. And he also, judging by the way he acts around his school friends, doesn't seem to mind mixing it up with the boys during their daily wrestle.
However, I wouldn't exactly say it's toughened him up.
This morning, Elijah and I walked out the door on the way to school. He was behind me, and his feet got tangled coming down the steps. A howl emerged, and he sprawled.
"WAHHHHHHH!" he screamed. "THERE IS BLOOD ON ME!"
I looked around. He'd skinned his knee, so I guess, technically, there was some blood.
"AHHHHHHH! A BOO-BOO! A BOO-BOO!"
The balance of the day had been shattered.
Regina and I took Elijah inside. She put hydrogen peroxide on his knee, and a little antibiotic cream. He continued to howl, even after we gave him a popsicle.
"Now my boo-boo is bleeding and wet!"
"It's not wet," Regina said. "That's cream."
"I don't like cream! I don't want to go to school! I'll never be able to walk again!"
He had to go to school, though we agreed to forestall walking for a bit. I carried him to the car and put him in his seat. He continued to sob all the while.
"Sometimes you get boo-boos, and it hurts," he said. "It hurts weawy badwy and then other people get boo-boos, too. OWWWWWWWWW!"
I briefly contemplated showing this kid, with his slightly skinned knee, footage of children writing in pain in Iraqi hospitals, just so he could have some perspective. But that idea went away fast. Instead, I decided to make him feel better by making fun of his favorite Johnny Cash song.
"Hey, Elijah," I said.
"What."
I sang:
I fell into a burning ring of poop
I went down, down, down
And the poop burned higher
He laughed, and victory was mine. Then he tried his own lyrics.
I fell into a burning ring of ice cream....
And it's cold, cold, cold,
That ring of ice cream
That ring of ice cream
I carried him into his classroom and sat him on a rug. His friends surrounded him, but he didn't try to stand. When I saw Elijah next, it was 4 PM, and he was scooting around our living room on his butt. He'd negated his swim lesson for the day, his bath, and any activity at all, really, other than eating carrots and watching David Bowie in Labyrinth, because of his boo-boo.
"I can't play rough with you today, daddy," he said.
"Oh, darn," I replied.
Comments
Probably writhing in pain rather than writing in pain, although I guess the latter is possible as well.
I was a low-pain-tolerance kid myself. If he is like me, he will still be saying "OWWWWWW" in a very whiny voice at thirty, when he bumps something slightly. I apologize on behalf of all the whiners everywhere. But whining makes it feel better.
Posted by: Nyarly | August 16, 2006 4:05 PM
Actually, he's just being a man (judging from all the ones I've dated, at least). They get one tiny scratch or some sniffles and it's like the world is ending. I doubt he'll grow out of it. ;)
Posted by: heather | August 16, 2006 9:01 PM
Oh you know, boys will always be boys. It goes to show that you have a real man in there. It's a good sign right?
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