Have You Heard About Hugo And Kim?
The phone rang around 8 PM on Friday. It was my sister. There was a playdate scheduled for the next day. Her daughter Ali, Elijah's cousin, was excited.
Elijah was in the midst of a pre-bath temper tantrum at the time.
"Ali wants to say hi," I said.
"NOOOOOOO! I'M AFRAID OF WATER!" Elijah said.
"Not a good time," I said to my sister.
Why, I wondered, do girls always call Elijah the day before their playdate? And why is it, when Elijah plays with his cousin, that they always end up jumping up and down naked on her bed? A very strange family tradition has been born.
After that occasion was in the books, I made a call on Saturday night to set up an impromptu Sunday playdate for Elijah with Ariel, his little girlfriend from school. As soon as I got off the phone with Ariel's mom, the phone rang again.
"The princess wishes to speak with the duke," Ariel's mom said.
"Elijah," I said, handing him the phone. "Ariel's on the line."
"Hello?" Elijah said.
"Eliiiiiiiijah!" said Ariel. "Are you going to push me tomorrow or are you going to be nice?
"I'm going to be nice," said Elijah.
A pause. Then...
"Heh heh heh. Eliiiiiiiiijah!"
"Heh heh heh," Elijah said.
I'm guessing it's about four years before it's no longer cute that girls are calling Elijah all the time. And I'm also guessing that he's never going to have to initiate the calls. Regina and I have already discussed what we're going to say in case the early evidence pointing toward Elijah as a bit of a player comes to bear: Son, it's OK to have a lot of girlfriends. But always treat them with respect, and never lie to them.
Also, no jumping naked on the bed, unless we're out of town. Even then, you should be careful.
This above all: To thine own self be true.