Pollack's Home For Imaginary Friends
Elijah came home from school on Friday talking about Michael, a boy from his class.
"Michael?" I said. "There's no Michael in..."
Regina waved me off, and addressed me in a showy whisper, making exaggerated lip movements.
"Michael is an imaginary friend," she said.
"Oh," I said.
"They say that kids who have imaginary friends are very smart. It's a sign of higher play."
As she said this, Elijah was attempting to hit the dog with a pillow.
"Right," I said. "So Michael, huh? That' s not a very imaginative name."
"Only the boys can see Michael!" Elijah shouted. "Not the girls!"
This fact was only semi-interesting to me. But like good parents, we wanted to know more about Elijah's mysterious new friend.
"I hear there's someone called Michael in your class," I said.
"He moved to Gotham City," said Elijah.
"Oh."
"He wanted to help Batman fight the Penguin."
"OK."
By this morning, though, Michael had returned from Gotham and was back in Elijah's life. In the car on the way to school, I got the full report.
"Michael likes strawberry ice cream," said Elijah. "And vanilla and mint chocolate chip."
"OK."
"He likes to sit in his car seat with his seatbelt very tight, and he likes to get sun in his eyes."
"OK."
"His parents let him roll around in the dirt a lot."
"Really, now?"
"Uh-huh. And he goes to school all by himself. They let him do that."
"I see."
"Can I go to school by myself, daddy?"
"I wish."
It's not exactly Little Jackie Paper and Puff The Magic Dragon, but I suppose it's a start. Gentle readers, please share your imaginary friend stories here.
Comments
My sister had an imaginary friend named Poopa. Poopa regularly scribbled on my homework, put my dolls in the toilet, and cut holes in my clothes. Poopa was conveniently never around for punishment, and I was not allowed to beat the crap out of my little sister, unfortunately, for Poopa's transgressions. Adults had a way of finding it endearing as my little sister looked up with her big blue eyes and dimples and said, "Poopa did it." I saw it slightly differently.
The child I babysit now had two imaginary friends named Kiwi and Coppola when he was a toddler. They were an invisible talking squirrel and transistor radio and came with him everywhere. When I found suspicious toddler-sized indentations in the frosting on his sister's birthday cake, he fingered (no pun) Kiwi and Coppola for the crime.
Do we detect a theme here? Imaginary friends. They're a bunch of hoodlums. Troublemakers, the lot of 'em.
Posted by: Mieke | July 24, 2006 2:16 PM
My imaginary friend was named Peggy. Peggy's dad wore dresses. Peggy got 50 bucks a week for allowance. Peggy had a different lunchbox for every day of the weekend, including weekends, when she didn't need one. Like, Micahel, Peggy would go away to fight crime or something, then mysteriously return.
Posted by: kowgurl | July 24, 2006 2:28 PM
My younger sister had a family of ants living in her head. Apparently they lived in a bright yellow kitchen and the table had a red check table cloth and those little bitches pissed me off to no end, refusing to let my sister play Barbie with me - how dare they?
Fucking ants. *twitch*
Posted by: Cupie | July 24, 2006 4:11 PM
When I was very small I had an imaginary friend named Jane. I don't remember much about her, nor do my parents seem to, but supposedly I mostly yelled at Jane to eat her peas. The rather cool thing though was a couple of years ago I was at a dinner party with another guest who was named Jane. At the end of the meal as the host was clearing, she made a joke: Jane eat your peas! Wow. Proustian rush!!!
Posted by: Sharon | July 24, 2006 6:14 PM
I believed that all my toys were alive, but this was purely a by-product of having overly bought into The Velveteen Rabbit (which I thought was called the Velveeta Rabbit).
My husband's imaginary friend story is a lot more interesting. His friend was a giant mouse named Squeaky. My future in-laws are conservative folks who were spooked by the appearance of imagniation in their offspring, so they conspired with the family doctor as to what course of action they should take. Together, they told my husband that Squeaky was sick and needed to go with the doctor to the hospital. A couple of days later, they told him that Squeaky had succumbed to his illness. And that was the end of Squeaky.
Here's to your continued good health, Michael.
Posted by: Tammy | July 24, 2006 9:56 PM
I know I shouldn't do this, but here I go anyway.
Rigorous Intuition:
http://tinyurl.com/mrrfq
Posted by: Dick Durata | July 24, 2006 10:58 PM
I had an imaginary friend named Tony when I was three. We lived in a small house in Maine, and I spent a great number of winter hours associating with Tony in the attic of our house. When our family abruptly decided to move to Arizona, we packed up a truck and headed across country. In Indianapolis the truck stopped running, right in the middle of the interstate. My dad pulled it to the median and waited, while I doodled and my mom entered hysterics. A man pulled up in a truck and asked my dad if he needed help. He then took my dad to the moving truck facility, helped orgazine a tow truck, and then took my dad back to us on the side of the road. He refused any payment. My dad thanked him profusely and then asked his name. It was Tony. (Cue soundtrack music)
Posted by: ZHorton | July 25, 2006 9:05 AM
I had an entire school of imaginary friends. The scary part is I took roll, and sometimes some of them were absent. I still have the book.
Posted by: Natasha | July 25, 2006 6:10 PM
My nephew had an imaginary friend named Kennifer. He was a skeleton who lived in a wheel chair and ate only dog food. Kennifer was later joined by his little brother named FrozenBroken.
Posted by: Kristen | July 26, 2006 2:39 PM
My nephew had an imaginary friend named Kennifer. He was a skeleton who lived in a wheel chair and ate only dog food. Kennifer was later joined by his little brother named FrozenBroken.
Posted by: Kristen | July 26, 2006 2:40 PM
I had two imaginary friends named Cagney and Margo. I'm assuming I got the name Cagney from "Cagney and Lacie," but I have no idea where Margo came from. Maybe I liked old lady names.
Anyway, they were both older women. Older than my parents even, but I remember sitting and just chatting away with them out on my screened in porch.
My favorite part about my imaginary friends? They didn't ride in the car with me, but the did ride motorcycles on the electric lines along the highway, dipping in between the polls. When there were no electric lines, they rode in and out of the ditches, doing incredible, X Games-style jumps.
Damn I was a cool kid.
Posted by: Chelsey | July 27, 2006 9:55 AM
All about <a href=http://www.celvista.com>xanax</a>
Posted by: Azazello | August 13, 2006 11:11 AM
Tennis stars photos here: <a href=http://tennisstars.info>Tennis Stars</a>
Posted by: Tennisstars | August 24, 2006 7:31 PM
<a href=http://erosive-esophagitis.net>erosive esophagitis</a> all about
Posted by: erosive-esophagitis | September 3, 2006 3:44 PM
I agree with what you said earlier.
Posted by: Alex | October 4, 2006 8:19 AM
ionolsen21 Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)
Posted by: topicstarter | October 18, 2006 4:01 AM
ionolsen24 Very good site. Thanks for author!
Posted by: kartoshka | October 20, 2006 2:44 PM
ionolsen24 So interesting site, thanks!
Posted by: nervotrepka | October 20, 2006 2:44 PM
ionolsen25 Hello Jane, great site!
Posted by: thomson | October 21, 2006 6:07 PM
ionolsen25 Your home page its great
Posted by: karel | October 21, 2006 6:48 PM
ionolsen25 So interesting site, thanks!
Posted by: kolyma | October 21, 2006 7:15 PM
ionolsen25 Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)
Posted by: tabletka | October 21, 2006 7:15 PM
ionolsen25 HI! I love this place!
Posted by: nervotrepka | October 21, 2006 7:36 PM
ionolsen25 Great website! Bookmarked! I am impressed at your work!
Posted by: kranik | October 21, 2006 8:17 PM
ionolsen25 I like your site
Posted by: babnik | October 21, 2006 8:17 PM
ionolsen25 I like your site
Posted by: karel | October 21, 2006 8:28 PM
digital surveillance cameras xsb digital surveillance cameras http://digital-surveillance-cameras.blogspot.com
fuji digital cameras xsb fuji digital cameras http://fuji-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
underwater digital cameras xsb underwater digital cameras http://underwater-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
compare digital cameras xsb compare digital cameras http://compare-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
casio digital cameras xsb casio digital cameras http://casio-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
digital camera ratings xsb digital camera ratings http://digital-cameras-ratings-pro.blogspot.com
waterproof digital cameras xsb waterproof digital cameras http://waterproof-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
canon digital cameras xsb canon digital cameras http://canon-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
top selling digital cameras xsb top selling digital cameras http://top-selling-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
canon digital camera xsb canon digital camera http://cannon-digital-camera-pro.blogspot.com
top rated digital cameras xsb top rated digital cameras http://top-rated-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
digital slr camera xsb digital slr camera http://digital-slr-camera-pro.blogspot.com
used digital cameras xsb used digital cameras http://used-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
panasonic digital cameras xsb panasonic digital cameras http://panasonic-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
buy digital cameras xsb buy digital cameras http://buy-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
kodak digital cameras xsb kodak digital cameras http://kodak-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
comparison of best digital cameras xsb comparison of best digital cameras http://comparison-of-best-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
cheap digital cameras xsb cheap digital cameras http://cheap-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
slr digital cameras xsb slr digital cameras http://slr-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
best digital cameras xsb best digital cameras http://best-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
compare prices digital cameras xsb compare prices digital cameras http://compare-prices-digital-cameras.blogspot.com
sony digital cameras xsb sony digital cameras http://sony-digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
digital video cameras xsb digital video cameras http://digital-video-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
digital cameras xsb digital cameras http://digital-cameras-pro.blogspot.com
Posted by: digital surveillance cameras | October 24, 2006 3:32 PM
secured loan secured loan http://www.securedloan.eu.tt
secured loans secured loans http://www.securedloans.eu.tt
hoodia hoodia http://hoodia-w.blogspot.com
ringtones free ringtones free http://the-freeringtones.blogspot.com
sex personals sex personals http://sexpersonals-w.blogspot.com
adult personals adult personals http://adultpersonals-a.blogspot.com
download free ringtones download free ringtones http://the-sexypersonals.blogspot.com
swinger personals swinger personals http://a-swingerpersonals.blogspot.com
free sex personals ads free sex personals ads http://free-sexpersonals.blogspot.com
adult photo personals adult photo personals http://adultphotopersonals-e.blogspot.com
adult personal ads adult personal ads http://adult--personal-ads.blogspot.com
sexy singles sexy singles http://sexysingles-4.blogspot.com
adult chat adult chat http://adult-chat-.blogspot.com
sex chat sex chat http://adult-sex-chat.blogspot.com
sex chat sex chat http://freesex-chat.blogspot.com
adult chat rooms adult chat rooms http://adultchatrooms.blogspot.com
free adult chat free adult chat http://free-adult--chat.blogspot.com
free sex chat room free sex chat room http://free-sexchatrooms.blogspot.com
adult chat room adult chat room http://adultchatroom.blogspot.com
free ring tones free ring tones http://freeringtonergt.blogspot.com
free polyphonic ringtones free polyphonic ringtones http://free-polyphonicringtones.blogspot.com
buy hoodia buy hoodia http://take-hoodia.blogspot.com
Posted by: secured loan | October 25, 2006 12:29 AM