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April 14, 2006

The Wiggles Are Greedy Bastards

So I wanted to use the chorus from The Wiggles' Captain Feathersword Fell Asleep On His Pirate Ship (Quack Quack) as the epigraph for Alternadad, because, you know, it's a song that torments many contemporary parents with kids under the age of two. I thought it would be a lark.

Yesterday, I got an email from Leanne from Australia. She informed me that "The Wiggles have approved the inclusion of a segment of the lyrics to the song 'Captain Feathersword Fell Asleep On
His Pirate Ship (Quack Quack)' in your book 'Alternadad'. Based on the information you have previously supplied, a fee of US$1,000 for the initial 15,000 units for the territory of the World would be payable..." To the richest men in Australia, who are trying to soak a writer for another $1,000. Greedy, greedy bastards.

I wrote a new epigraph for the book, but my editor told me to think twice, because why risk pissing off four rich men in colored unitards? But I'll paste it below because this is a mostly-unread blog.

Anyway, if there are parents out there who still, for some reason, play the Wiggles for their kids, or have any Wiggle-related merchanside in their house, I encourage you strongly to destroy it now out of solidarity with my annoyance. Up yours, Greg. Fuck you, Murray. Bite my butt, Anthony. And do me a favor, Jeff. Don't wake up. Here's the epigraph.


Dear Wiggles:

We are so very tired of your cheesy, pathetic vaudeville act for kids. Now please go home and leave us to raise our kids in peace.

Love,
The Parents Of The World

|

Comments

THANK YOU.

I hate Captain Feathersword and that stupid dog and the goddamn octopus and OH GOD AREN'T THERE ENOUGH FUCKING DINOSAURS FOR KIDS ALREADY WITHOUT DOROTHY TOO? Die, die, die!

Fuck those motherfuckers.

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Your website should be shot...oops SHUT down. You were all happy to request to use the chorus, but you got FN cranky when they wanted you to pay. Get a life. Stop watching The Wiggles. Cause you know what? ANYONE has the right to NOT watch or listen to what they DONT LIKE!
You're offensive, a sore looser when you dont get your way, and a bad example as a father.
Kudos to The Wiggles who have something HUGE few ever will. They have brought LOTS of joy to kids and families.
So get over it.
And I hope I never again cross paths with your site and the skanky messages you have allowed.
Oh and BTW...I see your site is copywrited....I suppose you will let me use ANYTHING from your site for free?

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