The Ascent Of Man
Driving along Colorado Boulevard the other day, Regina brought up her latest Internet readings.
"They've been making all these crazy archelogical finds in Egypt," she says. "It's all been in the last year."
"Really?" I said, thinking very hard about my upcoming fantasy baseball draft.
"Yeah," she said. "Like entire new cities and civilizations. We don't really know much about early humanity at all. Really only around the time of the Bible do we start..."
"Don't forget ancient Greece."
"What are you talking about, guys?" said Elijah, from the back seat. We've always operated under the assumption that we should teach him, based on our extremely limited range of knowledge, about whatever piques his curiosity, and that we should respect his intelligence in doing so. Regina began to explain.
"A long time ago," she said, "there were other people living where we do now. And in other places, too. They lived in big cities, but then they all disappeared because of a flood."
"Or drought," I added. "Or war."
"Right," she said. "Or because it got too cold. And then the forest grew over these big cities and people are only just now finding them again."
Elijah pondered this for a minute. Then, instead of asking more questions, he said this:
"Apatosauruses are nice."
"Yes they are," I said.
"Flying dinosaurs are nice."
"Yes."
"They don't eat people."
"They never saw people."
"Dinosaurs are dead," said Elijah.
"That's right," Regina said.
"What else is dead?"
"The dodo bird."
"Dodo bird?"
"Yes."
"Daddy is a dodo bird."
"Yes he is."
"A giant hand came out of the sky and took all the little dinosaurs."
"Is that right? Because dinosaurs were little and people were big?"
"No! It was giant people! And they ate all the little dinosaurs."
"That's as good a theory as any, I guess."
"The big dinosaurs were mad."
"I'm sure they were."
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