Can You Draw Morrissey?

Funny you should mention Shakey's in this connection, Neal... one of the defining moments in my pop-cultural awakening came when, during a fourth grade birthday visit to Shakey's in Appleton, WI, I tried to convince my parents that Kiss really did ROCK. Oh, I strutted on twelve-inch platforms as I walked back to our booth after dropping the quarter that would soon blow their minds...

Too bad I selected the B-side to "Detroit Rock City"--Peter Chris' "Beth." Now, nothing says "I am so fucking not cool" to the world like this lame move. The song may have saved Kiss' career--but it set my artistic confidence back to square zero. In fact, about the only comparable gaffe I can think of is a 1984 dye job involving a dyed black streak and a partial skull shave--this, even as I already knew that "Cut the Crap" was a self-referential mistake.

So, I don't know--a little parental guidance in cool, as well as independent thinking, isn't such a bad thing, no? Now, to get those kids coloring Shane MacGowan's teeth...

Posted by: Joel Turnipseed | March 13, 2006 3:03 PM

This is driving me crazy. Are you related to the actor/commedian Kevin Pollack? You guys look kind of alike.

Posted by: Jim Tressel | March 14, 2006 12:13 PM

Get away from Austin and you will find a sea of us unhip parents rightly trying to live down our 80s obsessions. Same goes for NYC, the entire SF Bay Area, and fucking Seattle.

Posted by: the patriarch | March 15, 2006 7:34 AM

Thanks for this particular screed. Living in Brooklyn, you see these infants in their Che Guevara and Ramones tshirts, toddling along beside their parents who JUST CAN'T LET GO of their pseudo-alternative youth and deal with the fact that they are now yuppie parents.

Given the standard child-parent dynamic, this overbearing cultural indoctrination will, of course, lead only to children who HATE Morrissey, the Ramones, etc., and want only to listen to Kanye West and Cara Lockwood. Ah well.

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