The People That You Meet On Tour
In Portland a couple of weeks ago, I had the great pleasure of finally meeting Belinda and Hova, hosts and creators of Greasy Kid Stuff, which is the best kid's radio program of our time. You can listen to their archives at the above link, and you can also find them streaming live at WFMU, the best radio station of our time. I spent a fine afternoon with them and their adorable two-year-old daughter. They're fortunate to have a girl, because now they can put their substantial collection of Powerpuff Girls paraphernalia, which they owned long before she was born, to good use. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup are far better role models for little girls than Dora The Explorer, if only because they fight a villainous turban-wearing monkey while Dora's monkey, "Boots," is a sexually ambiguous goody-two-shoes.
Belinda and Hova gave me a copy of their CD Greasy Kid Stuff 2: More Songs From Inside The Radio. It's just as good as their first CD, and has already become one of Elijah's favorites. He especially likes track 3, "The Mechanical Man," definitely the greatest robot song of all time, and track 14, "The Dinosaur Song," which is pretty much what it sounds like, but actually better. Other favorites include track 9, "Mouser Mecha Catbot," sung in Shonen Knife style (Elijah calls it the "kitty cat robot song") and track 5, "Two Little Bugs." I highly recommend that you purchase these CDs. Your kids' music library will double in richness.
On that same trip, I made the acquaintance of Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions Of A Naughty Mommy, which answers the eternal question: "can a smokin' hot, relatively well-off woman from Seattle learn to enjoy sex again after the birth of her first child?" I mock, for that is my way, but the book really is funny, charming, and, my wife assures me, quite relevant. It took about two days for my libido to return after Elijah's birth, and then I went on Wellbutrin, which soon had me humping the living-room pillows. If this were high school, and there were bleachers, I would be jerking off behind them. I suppose that's a little off-topic, as I'm not a mother.
I find it amusing that we need to have this discussion at all, since American women were supposed to have gained control of their bodies and their libidos more than a generation ago. But in a political climate where the government is trying to fund teen Christian conversion programs that take on the guise of "abstinence education," it's nice that someone is reminding women that their sexual life cycle doesn't have to go as follows: chaste nubile princess, virgin bride, baby-making machine, and withered hag. Thanks, Heidi. Meanwhile, my own sex advice to married couples with children can be summed up as follows.
1. Take lots of showers together.
2. Use scented and possibly flavored oils.
3. When your wife says "either you watch The Daily Show or get some nik-nik," always choose the nik-nik unless there's been some really important national or world event within the last 24 hours.
Considerably less naughty--but equally mommy-like-- is the book Chicken Bedtime Is Really Early, by Erica Perl, with illustrations by George Bates. I met Erica in Washington, D.C., during that same tour. She then graciously sent Elijah an autographed copy of the book a week later. He likes it a lot, and I find it totally charming as well. It's definitely one of the best bedtime books in our library. Really, though, any bedtime book that doesn't feature a corporate-produced children's cartoon character is good by me. I don't want to read any book featuring a familiar character unless it's called Elmo Goes To Bed And Never Wakes Up.
So there you have it: Cool compilations of kids' music, a book about new moms and their libidos, and a non-libidinous bedtime book by one of those selfsame new moms. These products have little in common, except that they're all from a generation of parents that's trying to figure out its place in the world. I'm proud to be part of that generation, and hope that I can help, in my small way, to light the way toward a relatively enjoyable future. We'd best have our fun now, because fun will be the furthest thing from our minds when the giant spiders seize the planet and make us their slaves. But that's still at least 20 years away. Enjoy your weekend!
Comments
Are you advocating some kind of anti-Arab, anti-Hispanic, homophobic ethos insofar as the Powerpuff Girls fight a "villainous turban-wearing monkey" while Dora's companion Boots is "a sexually ambiguous goody-two-shoes"? While Dora does seem to be a submissive type--she always does what my daughter tells her to, at any rate--I don't know that she's an inadequate role model. After all, she is an explorer, not a stay-at-home mom. And with that haircut, it's obvious she isn't placing any premium on compliance with the beauty myth.
And are you sure that robot song is better than Styx? Or Rush's The Body Electric? 1980s prog rock shouldn't be brushed aside so quickly, even if you hate the sexually ambiguous.
Posted by: Pig | February 24, 2006 3:42 PM
My three little munchkins will disagree with you as will my husband. And me. As a stay at home momma into my third draft of a novel, I promise you I am a better role model for them than Dora, Powder Puff girls, or any other woman.
You just spat in the face of Third Wave feminism. Blech!
Posted by: Sabra | February 24, 2006 3:56 PM
I most certainly did not.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | February 24, 2006 5:13 PM
Sabra, Please clarify how exactly Neal spat in the face of third wave feminism. It's just a light-hearted blog entry that mentions a couple of girl cartoons. Of course a stay-at-home mom who's writing a book is a better role model than a cartoon super girl. Duh.
Posted by: Anon | February 24, 2006 5:38 PM
It all comes back to this question: Thelma or Daphne? Sorry, I'm just a Fifth Wave Riggsian.
Posted by: Pig | February 24, 2006 6:54 PM
More poop jokes.
Posted by: blah | February 24, 2006 7:17 PM
Q: How many stay at home mom's on the third draft of a novel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's not funny.
Posted by: Billy | February 25, 2006 2:04 AM
My comment was directed toward Pig who was the one who brought up stay at home moms.
Posted by: Sabra | February 25, 2006 5:37 AM
Boots the monkey is not sexually ambiguous. He's a boy monkey, and he has a serious crush on Dora, who lets him hug her whenever he wants. He has issues, but sexual ambiguity is not one of them. I was surprised, however, to learn that Backpack is a girl.
Admit it, Neal; you dislike Dora not for the reasons you stated but because its music is terrible and maddeningly repetitive. "I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map ..."
What's weird about Dora the Explorer is that it's a show with Spanish-speaking characters, whose accents are flawless, but there's also a Spanish-language version where everyone's English is heavily accented. This might well be an example of The Man keeping them down.
Posted by: troy | February 27, 2006 10:06 AM
Point taken, Troy. I hate the music on Dora more than I hate the music from the ice-cream truck that goes by my house every day at 3:30 PM. It sells a lot of candy, too.
I suspect that the Spanish-language Dora is the authentic one.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | February 27, 2006 11:52 AM
Sabra - they are the Powerpuff Girls - no Powder involved.
NP - yeah, Wellbutrin was great for me in the Dept. of Libido - sad it doesn't work that way for everyone. Just lucky, I guess.
Pig - Hey, I used to be NP's Pig in younger and goofier days - Oink! [And I have the inscription to NMTP prove it.]
Sorry, however, to have missed the latest PDX visit. The patient I have been looking after for the last three-plus years died last Friday; it was a kind of child-rearing in reverse - no loss of lucidity in this case, just a relinquishing of one finger's grip after another. Any parent knows how strong that grip is from the start, and watching it relax and release in the very old is frightening (it's not coming back) and pathetic, in the best sense.
Don't (exactly) want to encourage Elijah's inner-Max, but there is a Wild Things movie coming out, and that's certainly an antidote to Deathbed-Elmo. (Sorry, I sort of like Elmo, even after he visited that pedophile Seattle chef jerk....).
Posted by: grishaxxx | February 28, 2006 11:44 AM
Grishaxxx: I spent some time as a student at Reed College in Portland. What a town. I went to Powell's and never left. Glad to be a successor. And I went to college with Jen Baumgardner of Third Wave feminism fame back in the early 1990s. She did some oral work on a friend of mine in an alcove in the back of Pat's Tap on the Ave. in Appleton, WI--love the palindrome. "Spitting" in the face of Third Wave feminism, indeed.
Posted by: Pig | March 1, 2006 4:38 PM
Sabra just likes to brag.
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