Art Linkletter, Please Pick Up A White Paging Phone
Today's conversation.
Elijah: "I want to have a big breakfast. "
Neal: "OK."
"I want to have a meeting."
"Sure."
"I want chicken."
"I think we have some leftover chicken in the fridge."
"With soy sauce."
"OK."
"I want beef."
"We don't have any beef."
"Is beef a hairball?"
"No, Elijah. Beef is not a hairball."
"Barf is a hairball!"
"Kind of."
Comments
That's it. I'm getting a vasectomy.
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I'm getting two.
Posted by: Will | February 15, 2006 6:54 PM
why oh why do newfound parents feel this need to relate every inane conversation they have with their child? It's like they become stupider as the child grows smarter. As a writer, you, Neal, should be aware of this. How about some more stories about when you smeared jalapenos on some poor girl's pussy?
Posted by: carla | February 15, 2006 9:39 PM
I thought this conversation had a particular quality...sorry if the parenting stuff isn't for you. But it is the end result of smearing jalapenos on pussy.
Posted by: Neal Pollack | February 15, 2006 9:49 PM
Darndest!
Posted by: Jim Treacher | February 16, 2006 12:01 AM
"Beef is A Hairball" Can I use this for a song title?
Posted by: Dave | February 16, 2006 5:23 AM
Cpt. Beefheart sometimes sounds like he has hairballs. He probably has a song stashed in a drawer somewhere about the way sea monsters smell. Maybe Elijah should take a meeting with him.
Posted by: Pig | February 16, 2006 5:47 AM
Neal, for whatever it's worth, you keep on posting whatever the hell you want to post. Anyone not with it might want to consider other options, such as not commenting, not reading, also reading someone else, or creating whatever it is they want to read themselves.
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Yeah, what that guy said.
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If you haven't read it, you need to check out Shel Silverstein's ABZ Book. Talk about alternative parenting.
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