The Okies Of Ought-Five
And now we wait for the swirling red monster to hit the Great State Of Texas, where I moved on a stoned whim three years ago. They're saying category one by the time Rita gets to Austin, but if this really is one of the strongest storms in recorded history, who knows? Dude! Austin has the best weed!
We've stocked up on water, dried goods, canned food, and flashlight batteries. And no, I'm not joking. If my house gets damaged, those goddamn skinflints at Allstate had better cover me, or else...I'll blog about it! Or maybe write for Slate!
There will be hard decisions in the days ahead. Do I save my cats or the boxes of remaindered copies of Never Mind The Pollacks that I have stacked up in the garage? Sacrifice a pig for me and my family, smear its blood on your chest, and whisper my name three times into a cupful of rat urine. Or just pray normally, if that's what you prefer.