And Now For Something Completely Stoic
It's been nearly 24 hours now since Al Qaeda's latest lame-ass attempt to change the course of history. I know you've all been standing by breathlessly to read my response to the London subway bombings. Well, here's my response: They were very sad, stupid, and needlessly violent. Sympathies to the injured and to the families of the dead. And, since every maroon with a blog feels compelled to comment on this affair, you can quote me on that. I must admit that Andrew Sullivan has done a nice job covering matters today, though by the time I wake up tomorrow, he will seem tiresome again.
That said, If I have to read one more word about the "stoic character" of the British people, I'm going to plotz. I would, instead, use the word cool to describe the British. "Stoic" is the property of the Blitz and The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie. This is the age of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, not to mention Layer Cake and Sexy Beast. I'd like to see the people who are blowing Churchill quotes out of their asses go up against Don Logan. For that matter, let's turn all the fictional British characters from contemporary crime movies loose on Al-Qaeda. The War On Terror will be over quickly.
I also don't want to hear any crap about how these bombings must lead to "fresh resolve" in the War. I'd have plenty of resolve if our government were actually pouring resources into fighting terrorism. But they are not, and they will once again use this tragedy as a smokescreen to hide their true sinister objective. I know what that objective is, because a high-placed source in the government told me. I will never reveal the source, and I'm prepared to go to jail on that principle, and also on the principle of getting a huge book deal when I get out of jail.
Now then, if you're not all sick of me yet and you want to really celebrate all things British, I recommend you buy this DVD set. It's the funniest goddamn TV show I've ever seen.