How I Spent My 35th Birthday
Party was previous Saturday. Made good use of new vaporizer and plate of special brownies. Got rid of extra Vicodin. On actual birthday, woke up at 8 AM. Met with various official at City Hall at 11 AM, re: Neighborhood safety concerns. Spent much time mentally preparing for upcoming Rotisserie baseball season. Worked on short story. Listened to album called "Puppy" by band called Fluke for this month's emusic.com column. For dinner, ate pork chop, tater tots, and Spinach salad. Stayed home with kid while wife went to book club to discuss The Bastard In The House, a bad choice in my opinion. Book is about overeducated middle-class men trying to come to terms with adult responsibility. Who wants to read about that shit? Oh. Pulling black socks up to knees now.
As regards the mandatory post-profile Foer parody, someone else did it so I didn't have to get my paws dirty. Scroll down to the second item. It is the will of Allah.