The Tigris And Euphrates Of Talk-Show Appearances, Babe
So tomorrow night I'm taping Dennis Miller. It will air on CNBC at 9 and midnight Eastern. In reality, I'm probably just going to have time to blurt out something like, "Maybe George Bush should appoint Jerry Falwell to head the Department Of Health And Human Services," har de har, and that will be the end of my television career. But if I had the chance, I would talk about this:
Alabama State Representative Gerald Allen, a mentally ill bigot, wants to ban novels with gay characters or written by gay authors from public libraries. "I guess we dig a big hole and dump them in and bury them," he says.
This would include the banning of all three of my books, which is probably deserved in general, but not for the specific reasons Mr. Allen, who disturbingly shares a last name with my wife, commands. Does this mean my next two books, "Faggy McQueereton Fucks Jesus In The Ear" and "The Bisexual Marriage Of Muff Munch and Clay" won't be available in Alabama? Their loss.
Meanwhile, our taxpayer-sponsored wholesale slaughter of the innocents continues unabated. Bombs away!And smile for the camera!