An evening with Mark Russell
At the behest of Mr. Pollack and against my better judgment, I’m going to attempt to discuss current events. (NOTE – Due to technical issues, I’m writing these pieces a day in advance. In other words, right now is yesterday, but it’s also tomorrow, so these events may no longer be current by the time you read them, or maybe won’t even have occurred yet. I’m not quite sure how it works. Right.) So let’s see what’s in the news…
Korea? No, you know all about that one already. Iran’s nuclear program? It’s pretty newsworthy, but I, for one, don’t consider nuclear proliferation very funny. Thinking about it, though, it’s comforting to know we have several options for the war after the one with Iraq.
Okay, let’s see what’s in the NY Times. Oh, goody! Scientists have come up with a pill that will allow people who could not previously eat peanuts to eat peanuts—as many as nine peanuts in a single sitting! The article goes on to say a lot more, but I will not bother to read it. There’s also an article about rising popular support for war against Iraq that essentially says that most people are still in no great hurry for it. Ha ha ha!!! That’s funny.
Also funny is the Washington Post’s story on the hubbub over Rep. Jim Moran’s (D-Va.) bizarre statement that Jewish support for an Iraqi war is the main reason the anti-war movement is failing. A bunch of rabbis are incensed and say that this recent statement was just one in a string of anti-Semitic attacks from Moran, a bunch of Democrats are saying Jim Moran is a great guy who loves Jewish people, and Moran himself claims that what he said is not at all what he meant, and if we doubt his intentions, we need look no further than the fact that his daughter is marrying a Jew. My feeling is that if Moran had actually said something obviously anti-Semitic (Jews are cheap, pushy, whiny, stingy, annoying, tightfisted, miserly, penny-pinching, etc.), it would have been better than his perpetuating the notion that Jews control the world. (Goddamn it! Excuse me for boasting, but Hot Damn! I am on fire tonight! Funny, funny stuff!)
Another funny piece in the Post is Anothony Shadid’s article on the popularity of Egyptian crooner Shaaban Abdel-Rahim’s latest smash hit, “The War with Iraq.” With provocative lyrics like, "Do you want to partition Iraq or what do you want exactly?”, the delightful song has got the Arab world dancing in the Arab street. Mr. Abdel-Rahim, the article says, previously had a big hit with “I Hate Israel.”
And, uh… I guess that’s what’s in the news. Sorry.
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