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February 6, 2003

Poets for war

This morning, I was just finishing the final flourishes on a piece for the Journal, "North Korea: Total War Or Bust," when Roger rushed in, breathless, with the dailies.

"Master!" he groaned. "Poets are starting to oppose conlfict with Iraq. In the name of George Orwell, what are we to do?"

Part of me wanted to say, do nothing. Ignore them. Allow them to founder on the wrong side of history. Let them write pandering verse about the evil SUV while terrorists plot their demise. But then I realized I couldn't do that. Careless thought lurks in our country, after all, and it must be exposed.

"Thank you for informing me, Roger," I said. "Now please bring me some zucchini bread."

The event described in the lead of this New York Times article has been disturbing me for days. I also received an email from known traitor poet Sam Harris. Yet since I'm for the war, I showed up at the White House that day anyway, ready to read my poem "On To Baghdad, Christian Soldiers," only to be turned away by Mrs. Bush's press secretary, who at least let me buy her lunch. It was hard for me to believe that 1500 poets could be opposed to a war with a government that would kill them for writing poetry. What silly beavers!

Then again, look at who's against the war. Tony Kushner, a known homosexual. Edward Asner, a known Socialist. Wallace Shawn, no surprise, and the lesbian do-it-yourself turncoat Ani DiFranco. As for Grace Paley, well, she is beneath contempt. Someone should burn down the bridge between New Hampshire and Vermont, just to show her. That region's economy would never recover.

So today I wage a response to the 100 Poets Against the War Anthology, a book published by traitors who are lucky to be free. I also wage against its sequel.

The most common form of pro-war propaganda in my grandmother's native Japan is the haiku. Here is a pro-war haiku, by me. Send in your pro-war haiku to this space, and I'll publish them on the letters page. Remember, 5-7-5. Let's show Harold Pinter, author of Zoo Story and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, what's what. A haiku:

Oh, Star Creator

Give us strength and booming guns

We will kill them all.


Meanwhile, The Neal Pollack Invasion, my insurgent rock band, has been awarded a showcase at the South By Southwest Music festival in Austin, Texas. More information is available on my events page. You can also see that Ben Brown and I continue to organize happenings in Austin, based on the spectacular success of our Bookhouse Rock show. For more information, go here.

Also, my book Beneath the Axis of Evil has received its first review, in the prestigious Johns Hopkins Journal Of American Politics. To purchase this important work of American literature, go here.

Send me pro-war haiku to counter the left-wing insurgence of the academy. Now, one more for the road:

Hussein, ugly rat

Missiles hidden underground

Soon you will be dead.

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