Lott in life
I've recently come under attack from certain members of the liberal press for my alleged defense of Trent Lott's execrable remarks at Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday party, which I attended, but only to see The White Stripes play. Subsequently, I did not, as Joshua Micah Marshall has claimed, write that "there hasn't been a lynching in this country in at least 50 years," and also didn't write "Trent Lott has done more for black people in this country than black people have done for themselves." If anyone reviews my blogposts of the last 10 days, they will find not a mention of Senator Lott before this one, except for when I've praised him as a patriot and a soldier in our War On Terror and federal-employee unions. There's no way I would ever erase a post when the heat is on, as I relish debate in a free society.
That said, the following exchange did occur during The Nation's recent "Our Man In Havana" cruise. I stole aboard in Kingston, Jamaica, where I have a secret home, and crashed a lecture given by Patricia Williams, who writes the popular column "Diary of A Mad Black Housewife." The controversial segment of our set-to went like this:
PW: But you once wrote, describing the female protagonist in one of your novels, that she "humped harder than a Mississippi Nigra."
NP: No, I did not. You misinterpret me. I am the black man's best media friend.
NP: It's painfully obvious, from the poverty of your discourse, that you've been poisoned by 30 years of affirmative action admissions to our major law schools, and in fact may have lost the ability to reason legally yourself.
PW: You asshole!
NP: See, that's just the sort of rhetoric that the left employs when cornered. Trent Lott is a statesman, and he need not have any enemies as long as they're so inarticulate. You know, 1948 was a long time ago. Can't we just forget that segregation, and, by extension, slavery, ever happened?
NP: Why not?
PW: That's just unthinkable!
NP: What's unthinkable?
PW: That slavery never happened!
NP: What are you talking about? I never said that. Are you claiming that? Are you a secret reverse racist?
Professor Williams then threw herself overboard. While she recovers from her shark bites, her Nation space will be filled by a substitute column called "Reviews of Boring Magazines Not For Sale In Your City."
Another victory in the win column for me.