« Good housekeeping | Main | Trent from the block »

December 17, 2002

A plan for victory

Note: It's recently come to light that in 1999, Attorney General John Ashcroft spoke at the annual breakfast of Citizens For More Conservative Citizen Councils, a dummy straw-man umbrella group set up by Grover Norquist to shield the Republican National Committee from accusations of rampant homophobia. I've obtained a very fuzzy video of the affair that cuts off about halfway in favor of that episode of Buffy where Willow's boyfriend falls in love with a female werewolf. Anyway, I can confirm that Ashcroft spoke at the banquet and definitely said, "Good morning, it's a pleasure to be here with my fellow fag haters," but after that the audio is obscured by glass-clinking from the busboy station. More on this story as it develops.

Now that Al Gore has mercifully bowed out of the running for the Democratic nomination, taking with him the blind ambition and misguided environmental activism that has plagued his party for too many years, it's time to set a proper agenda for whoever will rise in his place. I support President Bush wholeheartedly in his War On Terror, a just war without end, but I'm not a registered Republican and like most men, I get off on witnessing a good fight. I haven't voted Democrat since 1992, when I cast my ballot for Clinton twice. Here's what a Democrat would have to offer this time to win my love.

--A mandatory wage freeze for ungrateful manservants.

--A legislative package offering comprehensive equal rights to teabaggers.

--The imprisonment of Howell Raines and anyone else at The New York Times who doesn't fully support the War On Terror.

--A National Book Award nomination for my new masterwork Beneath The Axis Of Evil: One Man's Journey Into the Horrors Of War.

--Osama bin Laden's head served hot on a platter.

--Substantial sinecures for leading George Orwell scholars at the new National Museum of Orwellian Thought.

--The end of Robert DeNiro's "comic" acting career.

--Death by bombing to all our enemies.

--Orange soda in the drinking fountains.

--Amnesty for all Jews.

--One thousand years of glorious peace under the golden American sun.

Obviously, this is just a starter kit. But it's also gift of helium from me to the Democratic hopefuls as they begin to float their trial balloons. If fellow Beagles out there have other platform suggestions, please email them to me, and I will post them on the letters page. The politicians need to realize that our opinions represent the American mainstream, just stated in slightly more elevated English. Forsooth, they must take heed!

|

Comments

Hey man...sorry I missed the party. nokia6630

Preved Medved

Great. Thanks! nokia6630

Kansst du mir ein Speisekarte http://blietzkrieg.net/ zeigen ?

ionolsen20 Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)

ionolsen23 Your home page its great

I found: rape stories o rape porn o teen rape o rape pictures o rape pics o rape videos o rape video o rape movies o fantasy rape o rape fantasy o rape sex o gang rape o anal rape o rape porn o rape photos o incest rape o fantasy rape stories o lesbian rape o anime rape o rape comics o vietnam rape o asian rape o forced sex o forced womanhood o fantasy forced sex o forced to fuck o forced feminization o forced feminization stories o forced crossdressing o forced sex stories o bdsm stories o bdsm library o bdsm cafe o female domination o female domination stories o sex slave o sex slaves o slave girl o brutal sex o brutal blowjobs o brutal rape o extreme sex o extreme penetration o extreme anal insertion o extreme anal fucking o extreme anal o extreme insertions o extreme hard sex o breast torture extreme o sissy humiliation o facial humiliation o rape victims o brutal rape o prison rape o ass rape o young rape o virgin rape o family rape o real rape o forced rape o bondage rape o rape porn o bdsm movies o bdsm videos o extreme cumshots o extreme blowjobs o extreme bondage o extreme porn o incest stories o incest sex stories o incest story o family incest o family porn o nude family o family nude o family sex o incest pictures o incest porn o incest pics o incest sex o incest photos o incest girl o lolita incest o young incest o cartoon incest o incest cartoons o incest cartoon o incest toons o incest taboo forum o incest forum o taboo family sex o incest taboo o taboo sex o father daughter sex o daughter incest o father daughter incest o daughter sex o dad fucking daughter o dad fucks daughter o daddies fucking daughters o mother son porn o mother sucks son o mother son sex o mother son incest o mom son sex o mom and son sex o mom and son sex galleries o moms fucking sons o incest movies o incest videos o brother sister sex o sister sex o brother and sister sex stories o brother sister incest o

I found: rape stories o rape porn o teen rape o rape pictures o rape pics o rape videos o rape video o rape movies o fantasy rape o rape fantasy o rape sex o gang rape o anal rape o rape porn o rape photos o incest rape o fantasy rape stories o lesbian rape o anime rape o rape comics o vietnam rape o asian rape o forced sex o forced womanhood o fantasy forced sex o forced to fuck o forced feminization o forced feminization stories o forced crossdressing o forced sex stories o bdsm stories o bdsm library o bdsm cafe o female domination o female domination stories o sex slave o sex slaves o slave girl o brutal sex o brutal blowjobs o brutal rape o extreme sex o extreme penetration o extreme anal insertion o extreme anal fucking o extreme anal o extreme insertions o extreme hard sex o breast torture extreme o sissy humiliation o facial humiliation o rape victims o brutal rape o prison rape o ass rape o young rape o virgin rape o family rape o real rape o forced rape o bondage rape o rape porn o bdsm movies o bdsm videos o extreme cumshots o extreme blowjobs o extreme bondage o extreme porn o incest stories o incest sex stories o incest story o family incest o family porn o nude family o family nude o family sex o incest pictures o incest porn o incest pics o incest sex o incest photos o incest girl o lolita incest o young incest o cartoon incest o incest cartoons o incest cartoon o incest toons o incest taboo forum o incest forum o taboo family sex o incest taboo o taboo sex o father daughter sex o daughter incest o father daughter incest o daughter sex o dad fucking daughter o dad fucks daughter o daddies fucking daughters o mother son porn o mother sucks son o mother son sex o mother son incest o mom son sex o mom and son sex o mom and son sex galleries o moms fucking sons o incest movies o incest videos o brother sister sex o sister sex o brother and sister sex stories o brother sister incest o

Post a comment