Orwell -- the adventure continues
Neal Pollack has been safely ensconced in a French gulag, where he's currently trying to entice a bespectacled genius embezzler to help him escape. Meanwhile, this blog will proceed normally, with answers to questions about George Orwell provided by Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan. The questions have been pouring in at the rate of two a week, so we'd better hop to the plate, much like the ageless Barry Bonds.
Send your Orwell questions to npblog@aol.com, and they will be answered in a timely fashion. Timely fashions provided by Kenneth Cole, Neal's favorite designer.
Colin Carlson asks, "That Julia chick must have had some pretty nice cans, right?"
CH: Ah, yes. But not nearly as nice as Rosemary's in Keep The Aspidistra flying. I am a literary critic of some merit, you know, and I must say that the vision of a young girl deprived of her prime and reduced to drudgery and shame is a 'trope' which one would have not wished, as a campaigner against needless poverty and ignorance, to be without. You must excuse me if I ramble, for even though I'm lucid as always, I'm also blind drunk.
O'Brien in Chicago says: "Andrew -- First of all, megadittoes! As you've said you've read virtually all of Orwell (while I've only made it through the first page of Animal Farm -- it's no Charge to Keep!) I wanted to know if Orwell's prescience extended into practical matters affecting us proles; namely, should I take the Eagles and the points this weekend? Hitch, this one's for you. I've heard that Orwell bashed Mother Theresa while you've written a book denouncing Gandhi (or something like that; I could look it up but that would involve me rising from my chair which I cannot do because the sunlight is illumining the scotch in my tumbler in a particularly heartbreaking manner), I was wondering -- disregarding your courageous atheism for a moment -- which of these two oppressors is in a hotter part of hell?"
AS: I will answer both those questions, because Hitch has fallen asleep. The Eagles are always a good bet, for they soar like America soars, unlike the Redskins, who are named for terrorists, or the Cowboys, who just plain suck, or the Vikings, who suck and also practice socialized medicine. The only team I would take over the Eagles would be the Patriots, or perhaps the Los Angeles Lubes.
For the second question, I believe that the hottest part of hell should be reserved for the Chechen monsters who took over the Russian theater yesterday. As a great fan of the Russian theater, and having played Uncle Vanya in a production at the Kennedy School of Government, I'm appalled. The U.S. should deliver unholy fire unto Chechnya as soon as possible. We will occupy the Chechen capital by sundown on Halloween.
CH: Snnnnnnnnnork!
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