Shuffle off to Buffalo
It's been a tough four days, even by my standards. As I attempted to squeeze in one last weekend at the Vineyard before the arrival of our first dreaded Nor'easter, news marched on. Then came the necessary Day of Atonement, and quicker than you can say Ramzi Binalshibh, I was several steps behind.
All I can say is that despite howls of Fifth Column protest from our putative paper of record, which apparently believes that the rights of individual citizens are more important than the collective will of a nation challenged, I've been calling for the arrest of all Middle Eastern men in the suburbs of Buffalo since April. Let me quote myself, in The Weekly Standard, on April 7, "I have it from reliable sources in the FBI that a major terrorist cell is operating in the suburbs of Buffalo. Let's kill them before they kill us." To which the Times editors responded, in a private in-house memo, "apparently some defenders of our government's so-called War On Terror believe that Buffalo is in danger. To that, we say, hooey."
Who's full of hooey now, New York Times? Who? Who?
Meanwhile, it appears that Kofi Annan has bit down hard on Saddam Hussein's latest weapons-inspection bait. An obscure news agency not available online but known to me through secret sources quotes him as saying, "If Saddam says he doesn't have nuclear or chemical weapons, that's good enough for me. Anyone for tennis?"
Well, Kofi, you're a sucker. I quote Donald Rumsfeld from yesterday's press conference, where he handled our limp-wristed defense-reporting corps like the flaccid bags of cheese they are. From his text, which I ghost-wrote: "The Iraqis are our enemies. They are dangerous people. And we're gonna kill all the world's dangerous people, if they're our enemies, no matter what." Go get 'em, Rummy. As my mentor at Oxbridge, the brilliant political philosopher Francis Crapshoot, once said, "genocide in defense of liberty has no vice equal to its equivalent virtue."
In sad sports news, we all mourn the death of Johnny Unitas, but no one more than me. During my brief term as mayor of Baltimore in the 1960s, he was like a son, albeit one I never met. A quarterback, as I've always said, is like a general who makes more money and gets laid more often. America weeps, as it should.







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